Cell Group Meeting was AWESOME TODAY!!

the vision of loving people, a lot have been said and done. writing the letter you think you feel you want to write to..
I wrote one for Shaun and nette nette 'wrote' one to me. Both about the same issue, Bangkok. After the talking from nette nette. Something hit me on the head..

I come to realize this few weeks, I am not myself anymore or even it start even months ago. I am quite rebellion in a way this few weeks, neglecting a lots of small detail and importance of people feeling, insensitive, badmouthing, carefree and 'throw' away my responsibilities. It is action when I usually do when I am stress out or just trying to get rebellion.

I am quite a spoiled child, I will use any method to get what I want.. :)
I develop this rebellion method of ni zuo chu yi wo zuo shi wu in my character, so as when I do not get what i want. I will just do not listen to anything you say or you ask me to do.

I think Bangkok really really crush my hope, My whole family went there last December when I am still in Camp. My whole life I only travel to Malaysia, Genting before..I am someone who also seriously need to take a break in the midst of hard work before I eventually break down. Lastly i can eventually fly..

Study is important but I just dislike study the whole time, I guess it is someone that happen to me when I am small. As people would know I score well in my PSLE but primary school is one of the most terrible period in my life. My dad was a gambler addict then, he lose lots of money and need to 'run away' with my mum to hide the debtors, they dump my bro and me to my aunt(father's side, i now living with my mum's side aunt). Our life there can be say so to be reward-based, so what we do everyday is just study,Study and STUDY!!

All i remember is just study and caning, the most painful thing is to listen and know that all my cousin is playing games and what I am doing is being force at one corner and study. I did not even watch a single television in my life. My mum eventually brought me back but there still lots of family polities that you can heard everyday, especially quarrel between mum and dad. even now when i am home and in secondary school, my mum care for me too much that she do not let me try any stuff, even the most simplest like stay over at friend's house to do project i cant do that. I never once stay over in whole of my secondary school until i went rebellion and ran out of house. I am like a caged bird that want to be out and when freedom is given is gone out of control.

All this make me who i am today, someone who want fun than just some serious stuff. This is why i keep whining about Bangkok. I am so excited, it my birthday, i can fly, i am going holiday with my friends, i just finish my army, it a great redemption to redeem my 21st birthday which i spend i camp, it gonna to be fun and it gonna be a great year.

But one call, all hope is gone. it came with more responsibilities added, more scolding, more nagging and come to realize the other can go while they study. i thought maybe because the leader but the biggest bomb is someone in my cell went the same place too. with the night of being blame something that not my fault, all faith, hope and love is gone. i cant take it anymore..
Of all people why me? i ask..

i become rebellion in a way, changing to someone that i do not even know. if you meet the real tian long, tell him that i missing him.

1 Corinthians 13:13 (New International Version)

¹³And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

all the emphasis is on love this few months. Love is what people think about,talk about and do about..You can really sense love around you this period of time, no matter in family; friends; BGR and etc..Love is what people care about and needs. love is what motivate people to take action. Love is Jesus, Love is God. Love is indeed the greatest of all..

This period of love is filling fast in the church; more strong friendship is build, i really glad to know more people this year like SOT team 10 and knowing people especially like Andy and Chris really make life more fulfilling. they are such great example that you can look up and learn from. there is also a lot of marriage taking place this year, all my friends around are getting marry, congrats to andy and nap cant wait for next year but i still enjoying life. muhahaha!

Love is still the greatest of all. embrace it.. :D