i wonder tis few week...trust in ppl bcome lesser n lesser. start nt to believe wad most ppl tell me..coz i dunno whether it is true or fake. partly bcoz wad ppl sae and do is a difference tink bah..it is wad ppl do evertym or ppl are jus puting an act? All tis make me dun completly trust one ppl for the time being..mayb it a way of me to protect me n other ard me bah. I dun lyk the feeling of getting cheated so do ur rite? But tis time i tink i would jus sit n watch bah...nt shooting ppl anymore. must apply wad i learn frm bible.." Be angry, but do not sin" frm one of the verse in ephesians...so jus watch wad ppl gg to do loh.

i tink why i put lesser trust in ppl nwadae partly bcoz of those hurt i gt in my fren and many other tink bah. coz evertym i put trust n faith in them..it nv turn rite n i am the one suffer in e end. Tis is part of me since small bah..coz wad i gt frm my father as his oso everytym brotherhood come first and trust his fren alot. he too oso suffer sometym whe in come to money matter coz money gif away nv come bek. i tink i oso lyk him in tis way.. trust in ppl easily and gt nth in return. Personally, nth in return in ok to me..but ppl betray when i treat them so close to me is quite hurting to me. so i dunno whether i am rite tis time and realli confused by wad ppl sae..

what should i do?
believe or nt to believe,
trust or nt to trust?
confused !! todae went svc as usual..but tis is the first time i saw the whole cg wear smart casual..lolx!! todae gt two special guest..sermon was abit dry and due to lack of slp, i fall asleep fer awhile. todae e inner healing was great..althougt gt many ppl shouting and other tink. at first i tink i oreadi gt feel sick abt it liao..feel lyk vomit even befors i went to alther call. during the alther call became worse..but feel better nw liao.

aft tt we planning to go eat but due to late hr...oni some of us went for supper/dinner. All of us actually quite happy de until i found out Aaron's PSP lost e analog button..i realli scare and gulity loh..aft see tio the face Aaron haf. i oso dunno wad to do..i noe sry cannt stand everytink de mah..PSP lei so expensive, if it is my one i oso will lyk tt loh.

but aft awhile i tink he ok le ah..den Aaron,Ben,ZhenGuo,Desmond and i went to je makan loh..i eat the fishball noodles stall tt i lyk the most de. everytym if i haf the chance go je and makan i sure go there de. then ben, zhenguo and i took a taxi hm aft the supper while aaron and desmond went to take bus 99.

mus slp liao..keep ur update. todae go skl so useless loh..i nv go for lecture so oni left one tutorial. in e end i went there, we jus took the quiz den can go hm le..clz haven start i go liao loh. so wasted !!!

evening went to cg, where i lose the game again. todae wenshan preach abt the dark valley of life..everybdy will went througt those valley de loh. lyk recently i heard alot of ppl jus break wif their bf/gf loh. but we all mus press on coz tis valley are oni tempory.

aft cg some of us went KFC fer supper before we went hm and tok in skype for more private stuff..dunno why sae till one part who cant get over someone den the Aaron sae ' i oso can see u cant get over Gina.'..i lyk huh but sae the truth sure gt abit. lyk ytd winson thy all ask why i dun lyk her anymore.. i lyk no ans loh. let time heal bah !!

veri tired le..gonna slp. keep your update tml. todae gt a veri short lesson..oni hlf an hr nia. my lecture summarise my progress and grade for my tis module den can go liao loh. i went to meet alwyn and suresh at jp aft tt coz we gg skl together fer our mini celebration fer e success in e skl carnival.

ya..we gt 10 free pizza for us to eat loh and we oni gt ard 8-9 ppl. which mean each of us gt abt 1 and 1/4 of pizza to eat. so full loh..i ate abt 1 and 1/2 of them. oso gt the chance to tok to mr.poh le..aft so long loh. miss those time study fer 'o' lvl...

we den went to bryan's hse to ply pool aft e pizza..where winson join us there. vei fun loh..tt stupid winson evertym show off to me tt thy haf e soccer fista..den i keep sayin him n bryan 'wan en fu yi'. we start a 'msn conferece' using notepad in bryan's laptop in the same time we plyin pool. As usual thy keep askin me and jk me abt gina and e soccer fista tinky...-.-" den i start shooting ppl lyk winson n bryan loh..tt bryan finally cannt tahan and say he want rest n get us out of his hse.

i oso gt one guitar frm alwyn todae...he lending me fer a long period but i need to change many tink loh. nvm ah..can ply can liao.

gonna slp soon..keep ur update tml. feel tt last entry is quite long liao...so i start another new one. Ben, zhen guo and me all meet at je b4 we went to expo. we were toking crap on e way there..and cherish time together coz we noe we gg to multiply soon...coz mayb we will split coz the 4 of us quite close together.

Todae svc was great...we all lauging and learning wad pas. Kong preach and jk abt. the svc abt marriage as we nw gg througt the marriage course which pas. Kong arrange. aft the svc..sis serene come and summarise everytink wif us coz sis wenshan didnt come todae coz some family matter. after that..we all decide where to go fer fellowship and we decide to go bedok to eat. it was a great time i can sae but some of us went hm first.

but the truth is todae we lots of PMSes todae..oso dunno why !!! mayb some haf nt enough slp, some bcoz of study and some jus wanted to spend more time wit cell b4 it split and thus using their own way too much. i still remain calm oni abit irritated by some ppl tt dun haf e heart to fellowship and giving me some 'reasonable' excuses which i tink is lame or jus crap. dun wanna sae anymore or argue anymore ah..or realli will get angry le.

but it oso quite fun ah...as we jk here n there. some of us buy a big dessert and eat together...realli is big 'n' nice loh and i took foto of it b4 we eat it.

it was quite cheap oso..oni $6 dollar nia which mean each of us oni need to pay $1.bcoz of tis tink..we staying bek while other went hm and oso bcoz we r waiting fer gina's sis n ben's bro at the same time.

after so much rumour..i nw oso quite scare tt we will multiply. tt y each of us trying their own way to fellowship in e cell and end up nt so happy aft all...haizz!!!

Todae lots of things happened, gt veri gd news and veri sad news. actually i quite tired liao, bcoz i oni slp for a few hrs b4 i went bek my sec skl to hlp ut the carnival. ya..our store are one of the most popular one in carnival as we run out of short supply fer 3 to 4 times. we oso hit the selling target of our pizza and we will get 8 more free pizza which we will celebrate tis following thur.

above are some of the gd news ah...but wad realli mean most to me is the chance to meet my teacher again. miss 'em loh !!! althougt i being so bad in skl, thy nv gif up on me loh...i admit i quite bad ah coz i evertym slp in classes de. i oso saw Miss Ooi loh (pronuced as wee), one of my fav. teacher beside Mr Poh..she left the skl liao so meet tio her realli make me happy loh. she realli change alot in me sia..i respect her alot loh althougt i dun lyk her in e beginning when she teaches us. She the kind of teacher tt cannt messed ard wif her de...but she oso veri reasonable and understandable unlike some discliple master or mistress who abuse their power de. realli happy to hlp out the carnival loh.

but the sad news realli bring dwn the mood i haf fer the carnival...those 2 veri best 'fren' of me gif me cold shoulder when i saw them. i was actually gg bek to my jw hm fer a bath when i saw them on e way to carinval. actually wanted to sae 'hi' or smth but once thy saw me..thy look another side and walk away..treating tt i am invisible. saw tio tis veri sad loh..so i jus withdrawn bek, lower my head and walk away. so sad loh...haizz!!! todae gt cg as usual..but todae seem lyk haf nt enough space fer all of us lei. Gd sign lei..mean our cg is growing. my room gt repaint all over again..and it orange my fav. colour..lolx !!! but all nt my effort coz if nt i was slping in the morning or in cg during the nite. ya..todae fellowship oso seem abit dull and we left early tis time.

some of us tot it is still early so we went mcdonald for a meal. tt consy so hyper loh..nth to sae ah..lauge lyk dunno wad loh. den we keep toking crap down there..so fun sia !! realli enjoy the time there. ben and zhen guo took some gayish foto oso loh...lolx !!

todae wenshan preach abt hw to crop wif failure ah..ya..tink so is lyk tt. i learn tt we mus realli press on during our dry period or trials & tribunaials..but nw is write oni ah. dunno wad i will do if i gg througt tis...coz anyway we are imperfect de mah. but dunno todae sermon is dry or own personal tireness..i caught some ppl slping(aaron pls dun brash me up..haha)

tml still mus go skl hlp out it carnival but somehw i abit afraid of gg..coz mayb bcoz of those fren of me..scare of hw to face them if thy come. will thy still so cool toward me..smtym feellyk go bek to them but fear of them saying bad abt me again...bullying me and everytink but i realli haf fun wif them in my sec skl life..n i dun regret it..Haizz!!! dunno wad to do ah...confused nw.

jialat jialat !! the more i read my 2nd para the more i feel it sound lyk gina lei..die ah. i dun wanna lyk her ah..ltr as blur as her...lolx !! jk jk nia..but realli abit sound lyk her lei..influence by her too much liao..=s mus change ah..if nt bcom gayish liao.

i gt revelation tis week...its frm luke 6:37 where it sae abt nt to judge ppl. ya..make me feel abit gulity ytd when i first saw it. coz tis few week i lyk being judging ppl and condemn them all tis while, so i tink wad God wan me to do its nt to do it anymore bah...n be more Him, and oso become grow more spiritually. ya..lyk tt loh.

Aaron lyk feel abit down tis few daes...dunno wad happened. i oso dunno hw to console him also..being quite close to him le but still dunno wad he tinking. feel abit useless myself..always wif him jus having fun n laugers and nt knowing wad he is tinking of. hope he better tis few dae bah..

i found songs realli can influence our mood. ya...lyk when u hear a sad song, ur mood will went down abit..and if u are areadi quite down it will feel worse when u hear those sad song. On the other side, hear a song which has faster rythem or is quite happy de will rise up ur mood...smtym can make u more hyper oso. ya..tt wad i notice in me..lolx.

gg to skl le..den go bowling wif sen and alwyn mayb balq oso. i gt two panda eyes liao..SIAN!!! Did Aaron a favour to post views for his lastest blog entry. Love for us realli is a tricky topic loh..some ppl wan it but do nt haf it but some ppl dun wan it but still haf a few relationship before or gt ppl to woo he/she. there is no 'formula' for any long-lasting relationship but smtink both parties need to haf is trust bah...

I put trust between both parties veri impt coz it is the veri basic factor u need to understand each other. even a normal friendship need trust frm each side..and thy will nv be a gd relation between the two if trust is nt in place. If both parties haf trust in their partner, many unnessccsary querral will be prevented. they will nt be so suspicsion of wad thy partner is doin all the times. Unless, it is ur partner tt betray u lah...e.g. lyk one leg step two boats.

By having trust in each other, thy oso haf a breathing space fer each other. Cannt always be so close to each other de wad...will die bcoz lack of oxygen. Mayb sound abit lyk jking but the truth is love will die if there is no breathing space or freedom between each other but it oso will die off if there is too much space between two person. i noe guys smtym love a gal too much and treat it as his own property liao. but she oso a human wad...and all human need their own freedom and privacy. lyk wad u all wan frm ur parents which it will enable u to do more tink tt u lyk or desires.

The last part sound abit lyk me..lyk smone but do not or don dare to confess coz the fear of rejection..but tis part is nt a prob to many ppl nwadae as ppl getting bolder and bolder. But for ppl lyk me who more introvent, the fear of rejection is only a primary factor..there are more to it frm being rejected. The other factors which make us low-esteem is e.g. looks, family background, money, competation frm other competeters and others bah bah bah...all this make ppl lyk me more restrict to ourself and in e end miss the chance and left regret in our heart. Stupid devil !!! make so many tinks fer us to scare fer wad...-.-"

but seriously if loving someone bcome so hurtful...i rather spend time wif my frens where i can find fun and laugers. Why spent a dae wif sad n sorrow where it can be happy and joyful. Love take two parties to go into commitment and nt oni a one-side commitment. Why force it?? if it nt ur, it's nt ur..even if u force it there will nt b a happy ending. It will come to u one dae as God's promise..all u need to do is jus wait. Don need to waste time on those silly relationship and in e end both parties or one parties get hurt. Just lyk me..who always wan a relationship but dun haf one..but smtym dun haf is oso a gd tink. Coz it will be fruithful in ur memories if u wait till ur other part and it a right one.

My mood seem down abit aft writing tis blog...haizz!!! but tis is my view on love ah...sound abit too factual and too imaginive but tis wad i tink bah. hope a no exp guys can clear some doubt here bah !!! Todae overslpt again..but luckly nv miss any clz expect the first one. My bond wif my clzmates is improving which is a plus fer me. life in poly seem so slack loh..i lyk my sec skl life better. tis few dae i keep dreaming of smth but cannt remember wad happen coz it seem so real. so sian loh..everydae on com oso dunno fer wad unless dota or doin wok..tt y gt scoldin tis few dae -.-"

Waiting fer aaron to organise Kbox..coz my throat realli veri itcing liao. lolx !! tml gt prayer meeting and gt presentation. wed if nth go wrong mayb will go dwn hlp my fren wif my sec skl carnival stuff. thur gt one more presentation fer my law project if nt will be veri slack. fri i am totally free coz no skl but gt cg..mayb need to go smwhere first b4 to cg. susan sae go tis week cg wif expactacy..dunno wad are thy up to..i noe sure gt games coz if des come..thy will sure ply games coz a new fren and it oso a way to interact better wif them..but i don lyk loh !!! everytym i am the one losing..doin all the stupid tink aft losing..abit sian man but can entertain other i oso don mind ah..since i lyk to perform so much..even score a goal in causal plying soccer i oso do a goal celebration. tis is hw siao i lyk to perform..which my soccer fren sae de..thy oso use to it liao den make fun of me..lolx.

ok lah..todae until here. gt to slp le..if nt kana scolding and late fer skl again =s What a boring day i ahve todae !!!! Realli nth to do but jus stare at the com nia. i had a werid dream todae..dunno why i dream tio me susan n aaron saying constance gt into one dancing prog which she could nt join the cg fer 6 mths due to the traning and tt dancing prog is oni those veri talented den can get selected. werid rite?? =s I oso dunno wad i dream is actually abt..

hmm...feel tt mayb my scanner realli spolit lei. scan tio the tink lyk is correct de but oso lyk mayb is wrong lei..u blur liao rite? I oso veri blur..dunno wad i toking le. coz vince carter's blog seem lonely..coming jus to noe more frens but he oni tokin to one person -.-" Even tt person oso scare lei..so mayb wad i scan on the picture is correct or nt?? I noe wad ur sayin nw..laxing rite? lolx..i nt jealous or wad lar..let go le, nt my bussiness anymore but oni dun wan ppl get hurt. coz ero-senin in the end is still ero-senin. it hard or mayb will nt change...but mus still gif a chance to ppl to change. But ppl dun change i oso nth to sae..haaiz !!!

i gt one area where manga fans can chat abt the lastest happening in manga series lyk naruto or bleach...quite nice but need a password to login and mus register wif the admin first. if gt any enquiry can ask me.



Where am i ?? Todae fav. colour: White
Todae most dislikes colour: Black

todae den i found tt mayb black don suit me or don fit me at all. I lyk white colour..hehee White mean purity and in the light loh. I don wanna be in the dark..so mystery and u dunno wad a person is loh. Unless he shown his true-self...todae oso since a long time i wear a long-sleeve shirt. feel abit werid werid de...coz i nv wear it often. todae svc oso seem abit dry to me..almost zzz but tahan till the end.

Went to raffles city to fellowship..coz everytym go to marina square oso sian liao. the funny tink is tt we saw bro joshua's cell there...lyk abit too concidence den surely our cell darius wan to join them and their yu qi wan to join us..i oso dunno why. The best tink i gt is all of Aaron's stuff todae..he wants me to hlp him to keep so he dunno need to bring anytink hm and oso bring nth to svc nxt week -.-". veri clever ah he..isnt he? I realli bwg..but nvm ah since he my best buddy in church.

haf a great dae aft all...despite so many unhappy tink happen ard me !!!

from this

to this

and now this

btw we last post need alot of understanding to noe wad i feel...

our birthdae cake family photo 1

haizz!!!dunno wad to do ah...lost !!!