25 Sep 2007

Well this few days, especially this 2 days has been the worst.
Super ANGRY, FAN and LOUSY FEELING.

I feel being underrated, overlooked and underestimate my abilities.
I am super-irritated when it come to this and that, the feeling of being treated as 'noobies'.
It come worst when it smth i matter most...*has been control myself to scold !#$%^&*

My internal has been different from my outside appearance so far.

It look calm and quiet outside but angry and nasty inside.
It seem ok outside but it troubled me inside.
It seem i got alot of friends but it nth when it come to troubled times.
and etc...

The feeling being an outcast again...
what are friends for when conversation become plain.
no more listening ears around...
which i blog just to vent out as nobody really care.
I not as positive as people see...
sometime i just a bad kid that just insisted of what he wants.
I not as friendly as people think...
I maybe but i just will keep distance with people i dun like or feel threaten with.
Being selective.
I not as weak or simple-minded as people see...
I will just be strong-headed as anyone if the things i feel it correct.
I not as easy to bully as your think...
I just a fiery and hot-tempered person waiting to explode anytime.
I not so self-high esteem as your think...
I a low self-esteem person using a joker personality to cover it.
I not as strong emotion as your think of...
I am just so weak in emotion that i think i not even a guy. -.-

Many people think they know me but not totally.
Hardly anybody truely want to know me too...
by the count of people reading this post i know.
Nobody truely care, nobody truely understand.

I especially hated just to be a defender...does anybody know this?
hardly...

This may be all the reason bah...
all the reason that i am limited in my work and anythink i do.
my relation with people and etc...

THE SUPER "FAN" PERIOD...
your understand?