24 April 2007

Reflection on my life

I am the biggest grandchildren both on my father's and mother's side. Being pampered since small, got most of the things i wants. Both my parents were good to me, get me whatever i wanted. Every years they would celebrate my birthday, but that fade as time go by.

Primary school. I would say the period that shown my brightest side of my brain and my darkest period of my childhood. Although i always the quiet one in class but my grade were not bad. I would always be the one solve maths question in front of the class. My darkest period is the time i stay at my aunt's place(not the one i staying with now). My brother and I got to stay there because my father went heavily in debt because of heavy gambling. They put us at my aunt's place as they need to 'play-n-seek' with their creditors. I would have to help out with their shop when i staying with them. Lack of sleep, Working and Studying. I seriously have no fun during that period of time. I cant even watch a TV show, play PlayStation or watch my cousin play game. I remember i also being caned by my aunt a lot of times back then, forced to eat food that i dun like. My mum fetch us home after my father's debt stabilise and knowing our life at my aunt's place.

My secondary school life was normal. I gotta a lot of freedom after i went back my own home. This result me to be demoted to normal acad after first years of secondary education. My best and saddest period of my life are my secondary school days in normal acad. I got my best buddies here when we share thick and thin together. We never hand in homework together, defy teachers together, play soccer/basketball everyday together and other things together.
Nobody can break us apart, unless some of them have girlfriends. I the only one among them still does not have a girlfriend before. I wondering if i ever would have one? My secondary school life also are the saddest as the heartbreak i have suffered. I like the person for 3 years, didnt confess to her and take any action. She somehow notice it and start the long period of avoiding. Althougt we being classmates for 4 years, both of us is like a stranger to each other.
I will be smiling the whole day if she talk to me. I or shld i say we came to know it long ago that she does not have any feeling for me via her friends and herself. I got to saw it on msn when she talking to my friends. Sound silly but i always hope for the best and try to think the positive side which now left a deep hurt and a deep fear of girls.Anyways, I still had to thank her alot. I got the chance to knoe God and come to church via her.

Church life is fun!! Enjoy the presence of God and got to know alot of friends. I got some realli good friends that can share my problem with, people like Ben and Zhenguo. Sorry to trouble your lately. I being under two great cellgroup leaders althougt i have misunderstanding with one of them. Thank Wenshan and Stephen for your great leadership!!

My life in poly suck!! Your should know the reasons and i do not mention much. I gald i meet friend like agdoron. He really is a good friends expect sometimes he goes overboard without thinking what others people feel.

That my life so far...
How far can i go? I dun know
How would my life be like? I dun know
What I will be in the future? I dun know

Your would know more about me if your read this post.
But i wouldnt think anybody would read.

Still the cowardly me.
I fear of facing the true.

~end~