My Life Diary...

2010-10-31T21:50:00.002+08:00

Even though I know you how much, how much you hate it
This is the only thing I can do, in front of your house
I am waiting aimlessly for you.

No matter how pathetic I am, rather than forgetting about you
Since I have nothing to forget at the same place
In front of your house I'll wait

To you who won't answer my calls anymore, to you who doesn't want to see me at all
No matter how I beg for forgiveness, there's already no use

Waiting by your door, even if you pretend you can't see me
Brushing past my shoulder like seeing a stranger you just met
Waiting until you are willing to hear me say sorry

Being a telemarketer.

2010-09-23T23:51:00.003+08:00

I just got a new part-time job as a telemarketer, something new to me. the first few days has being OK and tiring. i never talk so much in my life before maybe a little bit too much that i feel it is out of my comfort zone. which is a good thing and also a bad thing.

Most of all I have never been rejected so much in my life before, and i now have a particular picking on traditional Chinese guys and Indian aunties. They are so aggressive and defensive that sometime you will just feel demoralize just by hearing their voices.

I just wait wait for USS this sun. It will be a FUN,FUN times with my friends. it like finally a dream come true and a long awaited holiday coming for me. Wee!!!! :D:D

Rebel

2010-08-07T00:06:00.003+08:00

Cell Group Meeting was AWESOME TODAY!!

the vision of loving people, a lot have been said and done. writing the letter you think you feel you want to write to..
I wrote one for Shaun and nette nette 'wrote' one to me. Both about the same issue, Bangkok. After the talking from nette nette. Something hit me on the head..

I come to realize this few weeks, I am not myself anymore or even it start even months ago. I am quite rebellion in a way this few weeks, neglecting a lots of small detail and importance of people feeling, insensitive, badmouthing, carefree and 'throw' away my responsibilities. It is action when I usually do when I am stress out or just trying to get rebellion.

I am quite a spoiled child, I will use any method to get what I want.. :)
I develop this rebellion method of ni zuo chu yi wo zuo shi wu in my character, so as when I do not get what i want. I will just do not listen to anything you say or you ask me to do.

I think Bangkok really really crush my hope, My whole family went there last December when I am still in Camp. My whole life I only travel to Malaysia, Genting before..I am someone who also seriously need to take a break in the midst of hard work before I eventually break down. Lastly i can eventually fly..

Study is important but I just dislike study the whole time, I guess it is someone that happen to me when I am small. As people would know I score well in my PSLE but primary school is one of the most terrible period in my life. My dad was a gambler addict then, he lose lots of money and need to 'run away' with my mum to hide the debtors, they dump my bro and me to my aunt(father's side, i now living with my mum's side aunt). Our life there can be say so to be reward-based, so what we do everyday is just study,Study and STUDY!!

All i remember is just study and caning, the most painful thing is to listen and know that all my cousin is playing games and what I am doing is being force at one corner and study. I did not even watch a single television in my life. My mum eventually brought me back but there still lots of family polities that you can heard everyday, especially quarrel between mum and dad. even now when i am home and in secondary school, my mum care for me too much that she do not let me try any stuff, even the most simplest like stay over at friend's house to do project i cant do that. I never once stay over in whole of my secondary school until i went rebellion and ran out of house. I am like a caged bird that want to be out and when freedom is given is gone out of control.

All this make me who i am today, someone who want fun than just some serious stuff. This is why i keep whining about Bangkok. I am so excited, it my birthday, i can fly, i am going holiday with my friends, i just finish my army, it a great redemption to redeem my 21st birthday which i spend i camp, it gonna to be fun and it gonna be a great year.

But one call, all hope is gone. it came with more responsibilities added, more scolding, more nagging and come to realize the other can go while they study. i thought maybe because the leader but the biggest bomb is someone in my cell went the same place too. with the night of being blame something that not my fault, all faith, hope and love is gone. i cant take it anymore..
Of all people why me? i ask..

i become rebellion in a way, changing to someone that i do not even know. if you meet the real tian long, tell him that i missing him.

LOVE

2010-08-02T01:18:00.003+08:00

1 Corinthians 13:13 (New International Version)

¹³And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

all the emphasis is on love this few months. Love is what people think about,talk about and do about..You can really sense love around you this period of time, no matter in family; friends; BGR and etc..Love is what people care about and needs. love is what motivate people to take action. Love is Jesus, Love is God. Love is indeed the greatest of all..

This period of love is filling fast in the church; more strong friendship is build, i really glad to know more people this year like SOT team 10 and knowing people especially like Andy and Chris really make life more fulfilling. they are such great example that you can look up and learn from. there is also a lot of marriage taking place this year, all my friends around are getting marry, congrats to andy and nap cant wait for next year but i still enjoying life. muhahaha!

Love is still the greatest of all. embrace it.. :D

Fairytale Ending.

2010-06-11T00:28:00.002+08:00

I watch a movie online just now. It make me keep thinking, does fairytale ending really do exist?
A movie that really hit my weakness, the critical point.

Just like the movie say, How could a 10/10 girl seriously like a 5/10 guy. It like man..seriously we are out of the world, the outcasts. Let be real, that will never happen in your life!!

There are exceptional but you are just not that exceptional. Let be real!!

Maybe you feel your life at a dead end, you are hurt from the previous time, you are building wall in your heart so you would not get hurt again, you are trying to get yourself out of the mess you are with, but you want to get right again.
I am always here with you, come with Me. Come and freely receive, the love that I freely give. Do not hide anymore, My son. You know that I love you, I died on the cross for you. Come and let Me heal you, Come and let Me love you. I will never leave you or forsake you, for you are my precious. You are My son, forever My son.

June!!

2010-06-07T00:14:00.003+08:00

I realize that this month is really a stressful month. homework,Sermon,Mission,Tests all coming at one goal. It like taking a Bazooka and shoot directly at you. Fierce!!

Sun is a good time to rest and a good to to buck up. sometime it can get confusing but most of the time is confusing as you do not know what to do!! thus you waste a day away..
3 movie in 3 days, average one per day which mean the building up of stress level. i need a more cheaper getaway. any suggestion?

love this song by t-ara

A brand new start..

2010-06-01T22:45:00.002+08:00

It been ages since i come here. I been looking through all my past posts and I realize something. Whatever you confess is what you going to get!!! No wonder why i so sad and emo in the past. haha.

Last 5 days of Asia Conference, it is indeed 5 powerful days although there is a lot of sleeping on my part. Time needed to digest all these spiritual meals. Something i caught very greatly from each of the preachers is confession. For examples, Speak to your future!!; Your word bring creation; What you speak is what you get and etc..

I also feel very touch and blessed. Indeed what you sow is what you will reap, I can say that i hardly give offering during last week but I notice that just after I gave my first offering, My SOT mate and friend, Daniel, bless me with the bible study book which I need for class. I also very touch by Paul's action as he remember that I want to eat beef horfun. This are some small thing but it is a great deal in my heart.

This week actually i have this revelation, You will become who you look up to..Your roles model make a great influence in your life. If we are to be somebody role model, we need to be someone they can look up to. Something that can attract them, just like Jesus our Savior.

The most busiest month is here. June, with all the assignment and sermon plying up, and with the world cup going on. it will be a month of lack of sleep..What a happy month!!
It also mean my birthday is coming..haha. I seriously need shoes or bags, as your can see they will me for about 5 yrs. sentimental yea!!

More update to come, watch out for the handsome Seth update!!

2008-09-07T02:51:00.002+08:00

Hmm..What should I say?

Stop critical; negative thinking..
Stop doubting about Self..

Let your truth be truth; your action be your action..
whatever you done, you done it.

The Damage is done.
You know it..

Emo..Stop emo..Emo..Stop emo.

2008-07-09T17:58:00.002+08:00

Lost touch with blogging.
Getting dusty le..Haha.

Quite a few things happening around me lately. God had truly put me thru and blessed me this few mths. I now adapted quite well in 35 SCE le, the people there has been quite friendly and helpful although i truly had a 'culture shock' at first. Mainly because of the smoking partsand no friends to help to ingrate..

I coming home this sat..

2008-06-01T03:45:00.002+08:00

If Yesterday Would Last..
If Today Is True..
If Tomorrow Will Be Bright.

If..If..If..

So Many Ifs But Which Can Be Fulfilled?

2008-05-17T11:07:00.002+08:00

3 MORE WEEKS TO POP!!

My basic military training is going to end soon..
Think i will be missing alot of people in Hawk company.
A mixed feeling of happy and emotional.
To finally leave Tekong but separate from all my platoon friends.
(sometimes it just feeling sick seeing them every days.)

This few months have been great to me also..
Thank God and thank to Aaron.
Look like i can finally talk to Gina normally which something seem quite difficult in the past.

I really learn and gain alot this few mths.

2008-03-30T09:49:00.002+08:00

30 March 2008

Getting lazy to blog this few times.
The fact of writing to a wall who cannot respond just irritate me. Attention seeking you may say and maybe i am one.
Prefers to be in a crowd than being alone although being the quiet one most of the times.
People would sure went crazy without having relationship with anybody or anyone to talk to..

Friends do not come by easily but maintain it is not an easy task too.
How can I change to be a better man?
Am i sure an irritating person or disgusting person to be with? or issit i am the one that being fearful to talk to them? Scared being reject yet again or so..? or i just become a total stranger to those i confess i like them?

I do not know. I seriously dunno, what happened between us?
Both eyes saw each other yet turn around and talk to some other people?
Both thinking not sure who is the one that avoiding who?
Is there any answers for it?

off to cell group now,and back to camp.

22 Feb 2008

2008-02-22T12:56:00.004+08:00

Is the world going anti-clockwise?

Why is wrong with people? or isit because i never right?

haha..
What do the hell you want from me?
Are you too free to disturb people blog?
seeking attention by putting nonsense in people tag board?

What are friends for?
big question..
One would only come and find you when need help.
Another ai zai saw you dunno fly till the other plant..
even reply a message seem so difficult.

Some good, Some bad..
good company of friends may not be good after all.
and bad company of friends may not be as bad as it seem.
only the worst personality that i dun mixed.

definition of Worst..
from my personality point of views. Person that almost beyond hope.
hypocrite in front of others with a bad hiding skill.
you will know wad i mean..

friends,eww...

10 Feb 2008

2008-02-10T23:04:00.000+08:00

Its since a long time i am online..
Been thinking thru alot.

Watched those 3 chinese new year 'must-see' movies..
each have its own uniqueness.

"Ice-cream is my favorite, i will fight for it no matter what. You just like ice-cream."
Kong-fu Dunk, Shi Jie.

青花瓷器

一个简单的瓷器
(A simple vase in chinese history.)
到了方文山的笔下
（Under the hands of Vincent Fang.)
变成了一部凄凉的爱情故事。
（It become a sad love story.)

‘天青色等烟雨，而我在等你’
te quiero

2008-01-20T21:21:00.001+08:00

20 Jan 2008

Goodbye blog. Goodbye World...

2008-01-16T07:16:00.000+08:00

16 Jan 2008

A bad morning..for me.
Maybe i should not have the idea of that in my mind.
Start to emo as i know 2 of them will say cannot or no. but i decide to try one time, maybe it will have a different result.
True enough, the 2 i thinking would not agree is the first to reply. They cannot or simply no.
Bible study? school?family dinner? valid reasons...
What can i say?

Feel like an idiot now...
'An idiot is a person doing the same thing again, expecting a different result.'
8 weeks left, yet everybody is busy..
I really dun wanna so emo, but what can i do?
How many chance i have to ask again...
8 times? or less..

An self-encouraging post again?
Who will see my blog? Understand me?
Disappointed.

2008-01-11T00:33:00.000+08:00

11 Jan 2008

Go to cell group first time after a long long time. Not as many people as expected, cos i prepared alot of food.

I actually very amaze by Ben, can play guitar quite well after learning a short time. I nv touch my, for alot of reason and excuses. I quite cui today also after kana prank by Terrance. "Woah..Look who's here today!!" Not as if i am blind and do not know she there.

Paiseh ah..
Dun even dare or want to talk to her after that. *Moment of thoughts, i wonder isit me that dun wanna talk to her or she dun wanna talk to me or both.*

Last few blog entries being emo? Maybe bah..
People do have emo time. Especially with emo song, you can do nth but emo. Haha..but it's true.

要走的人时早会走。。
可能吧。
或则是我应该走了，活在你的背影不容易。
那和你在一起的将来是个未知数，但我也大概知道答案。
我从你身上不只拿到了一首Love Song，也拿到了一张好人卡。
你就像天使一样美丽的公主，我就是森林里最平凡的精灵。
要做你的专属天使不简单，因为你就像个Superwoman。
我只想说我可以，希望你数到五答应我。
不想听到你说Kiss Goodbye，不想和你做好朋友。
世界唯一的你，我只想对你说就是爱你。
我的唯一色彩，我深深地被你着迷。
希望有一天爱转角，你会给我你的爱。

快乐的背后是伤心！
坚强的背后是寂寞！
期望就背后是绝望！

2008-01-08T20:09:00.000+08:00

8 Jan 2008

《转角遇到爱》经典对白

秦朗：你真的曾经来过我的世界吗?如果有,我为什么我会让你离开我的身边
如果没有,为什么我的心会这么痛?
你走了以后,你的味道会慢慢散去,你的样子会慢慢模糊...
我只希望,你能留下一个东西,让我证明你有来过...我真的好爱你~"

2008-01-07T22:52:00.000+08:00

7 Jan 2008

I did quite alot of things today. at least i would not be so bored den usual days.
What i do? eh. sleeping...HAHA.

I got quite alot of time after finish some of the important one i planned. Beside being still emo-ing( about what Aaron say yesterday.), I decide to went to sleep. It may be cause by a heavy amount of emo-ing when the victim, me, is awake.

A good suggestion will be the same old saying, "don't think too much" or do not even think at all. But there is no deny thats what Aaron say is true. It is quite a kan obvious thing that even a 白痴 will know.

Still emo-ing...
感谢我不可以住进你的眼睛所以才能拥抱你的背影
有再多的遗憾用来牢牢记住不完美的所有美丽
感谢我不可以拥抱你的背影所以才能变成你的背影
躲在安静角落不用你回头看不用珍惜

2008-01-07T01:32:00.001+08:00

6 Jan 2008

Today is bad. I do more wrong things den being good. I like being with friends...especially Ben, Zg, Ter and Aaron.
I like being out with the usual, especially the usual 5 that treated bugis like second home. One actually dont mixed with us anymore, do not know isit bcos of me or she really busy or both.

Today orchard road trip been quite 'Cui'. I think bcos of the put aeroplane and waiting part cause it. Aaron and i went lido after ter got to go home, Something he says still remain in my mind. He may be right but still...i dunno, maybe i shld change.

Needa do some serious reflection.

2008-01-05T02:50:00.000+08:00

5 Jan 2008

I am super pissed now. angry at my stupid and not in working condition laptop. the best laptop ever in the world. keep restarting like idiot and cause my whole football manager to go siao, must re-install. cant even let me have my one and only entertainment.

argh....

2008-01-01T22:18:00.000+08:00

1 Jan 2oo8

A new year. A new chapter starting in my life...
2007 has been great, going through ups and downs that year. Great achievement and disappointment, both happy and sad.

10 weeks left for me to do what i want to before i went in army.
Time flies and it really did. Maybe a new challenge in life would let me smth new...a new adventure, a new tianlong/wayniho.

I like this song 路 by 迷路兵. the theme song of golden path..the ch8 9pm drama. i like one sentence in the lyrics.

每一段路都是一段领悟...学会去爱就不会迷路.

I haven got my 2008 goals yet cos i maybe still dunno what i wants bah. What i want also doesnt mean what i will get. Do not set my expectation too high in case i fall again. I learn to stand up when i fall in 2007 so i will do if things come against me again in 2008.

Learn from 转角遇到爱...
就算是跌倒,也要豪迈的笑,知不知道.

I just hope i can do as much things in this 10 weeks left.

2007-12-25T22:48:00.000+08:00

25 Dec 2007

lots of things happened but still dunno wad to blog. lazy to blog..
Thinking of it, who really cares about my life and wad happen in my life.
Maybe only God care, ppl who really cares but i cant think of one right now.
Maybe your would say its my emotion causing wad i saying now. perhaps so...
Disappointment in people, disappointment in myself.

Curse continue, same old scenario and story repeat with the same ending.
Not a wonderful one, not a disastrous one.

Issit I am too scary? or I am too demanding? or what?
Maybe my poor human relation skills?
If not why people keep avoiding me?

People tend to disappointed you...
a lesson learned.

2007-11-28T16:45:00.000+08:00

28 Nov 2007

I learn alot this few days. Two different people in the world, one being positive-minded and another negative-minded. One simple incident can be look into two different ways.

A very good example is a teacher that kinda fierce toward student. On the positive side, you will know the old saying 'it for your own good.' Short-term suffering, long-term gain. On the negative side, you will think that teacher just have smth against you.

What you think you will be is wad you will have.
What you see is what you will get.

Monday and tuesday have being packed. Enjoying spending time with the usuals..
Aaron, Ben, Zhenguo and I went queenway shopping center. Cons suppose to be with us too but having family dinner so being aeroplaned. We went my father place to eat after shop.
Chat alot of crap and issues, have a fun day.

Tuesday being aeroplane again by cons again. watch movie, 'Enchanted' with aaron and mich and certainly feel abit extra there but being thick skinned so who care!!! Lols...
Meet ben zg and ter later for a drink, had quite a fun there and chat alot of issues and problems. I feel quite drunk after that so went to aaron hse overnite.

Being missing poh...
heard the things shan says kinda sadden me. the feeling of a kaki fall down and you must continue the race. unbearable!!!
I will still carry on, carry on this one man show...

2007-11-24T10:37:00.000+08:00

24 Nov 2007

想太多
李玖哲

你笑著說他是朋友
但你眼中太溫柔
我的不安那麼沉重
只有你不懂
他霸占了你的心中屬於我的角落
所以你說我們不是你和我
是我想太多你總這樣說
但你確沒有真的心疼我
是我想太多我也這樣說
這是為了安慰我的理由

OH``
他霸占了你的心中屬於我的角落
所以你說我們不是你和我
是我想太多你總這樣說
但你確沒有真的心疼我
是我想太多我也這樣說
這是為了安慰我的理由
我想我沒有錯怪了什麼
雖然你不說都是錯在我
太晚我才懂愛了你太多
OH``
是我想太多你總這樣說
但你確沒有真的心疼我
是我想太多我也這樣說
這是為了安慰我的理由

will update more after i come home..
kinda lazy. =p

2007-11-14T02:22:00.000+08:00

14 Nov 2008

Do you ever judge people by the way they are?
Do you ever accuse of people of judging other people?
Do you ever treat people just the way you feel?

Yes i do. People who not realise it unless they themselves sit down and reflect on themselves. I am just one of them. Thinking how is the people by my first look, six sense and their behavior and give them a life sentence. I am also just super sensitive to some issues which maybe make me a judgemental person ba...

i will change as time pass...i hope.

Crazy ideas come into my mind today, kinda high. I just addicted to jolin fast song..."Go Go sister, Go Go brother..."

Lots of thing to prepare for the up coming outreach...
good nights world.

2007-11-12T23:42:00.000+08:00

12 nov 2007

who would you choose? left or right?

aloy will choose the left one but the right one surely attract me the most.
dunno why?

Sunday had this conversation with my colleague..

regina: i ask you ah..how many gf you have before?
me: zero.
regina: huh...why you dun have any before?
me: no money have gf for wad..
regina: or issit you dun dare? nv woo any girls before meh?
me: no ah...waste time waste money. no use...why?
regina: asking only loh..cos i dun like those guys like wanted to woo girl that think the girl sure like him back de.

i know i lied. properly is to covered up bah. things i dun like to review to others, facts that somehow a little bit hard to accept.

After that i went home and start to think unnesscesy things again. Issit i myself the problem or smth? As most of the girls i like before nv talk to me anymore, not anymore but is very less. Maybe i think too much but it somehow true cos i also hardly talk to gina. She also look like selective to ppl to talk to.

I not sure and dunno. mayb i use my zhong nao too much, using too much emotional. Never really use my dao nao to think about it bah.

But i can testify that those bad things i think about will come back and attack me in my dreams. Just on the very same night nia, i dream gina say she dun talk to me cos i am boring. -.-
it so diao ah. that why i put on my msn wayniho is boring? still got some of the past night terror i got told aloy before. those are more scary loh...

Good dream still haven come my way. dunno why?
hope your enjoy my lastest music of the day.
may i love you by z chen

or your can watch this video.

2007-11-03T01:48:00.000+08:00

People do change as time goes by? or isit a mistake would change the whole situation the other way? What issit if different people avoiding you becos of some reason or some mistake you done? i am not saying it is me but also some other people out there. issit a mistake can change the whole situation/relations or issit is the damn people attitude that the main cause?

Does people really change as time passed? he/she is different now than the person we know from the past. he/she will be a different person in the future than now. Or issit the better we know a person, as we learn he/she as a person and his/her 'negative' side that we tend to avoid and dislike him/her. Issit a mistake he/she did wrongly that define him/her for a life time? the words out of him/her mouth did damage on him/her self-image? Damage so great that could turn friends to stranger?

Mistake. it define as an error in action, calculation, opinion, or judgment caused by poor reasoning, carelessness, insufficient knowledge, etc. a misunderstanding or misconception. Is it something that done wrong cannot be forgiven? or issit a choice that no turning back? Why do people judge the person once they did sometime wrong? A mistake that would people would remember and carefully consider before answer? being treated as a criminal, sentanced to a life time prison in people heart? or something the person do not like and start avoiding thus outcast the people? someone would definitely agree to me by the word outcast. Issit wrong to do something you wanna to do? or issit is the person that is the main problem? His/her attitude? His/her style? Maybe the same mistake is done by other but the result would not be as bad as the person? Different people doing same mistake will different treatment and result? Different judgement to different people? different fate to different people? different suffering on different people?

Lazy to talk about these things anymore. Bigger headacde tomorrow to get my angel something he would likes. I wanna to sleep now. good nights world.

2007-10-31T02:08:00.000+08:00

31 October 2007

tuesday has been boring. in a way that i cant find any friends to spend out with...wasting my time napping at home. I am quite a beast today, my stomach just cant be fill, keep buying food within 2 to 3 hours.

My friends' life all been exciting these few mths. views their blog and friendster, all dear her and there. All my BFFs having girlfriends le so kinda hard to ask them out too. although been ask out y them everytime to go on place, clubbing. I never go cos i dun like, rather stay at home. haha. those best friends of my...haix. but i think will meet them often when dec come..

browse thru many ppl blog. saw a personality test at kaixun's web so decide to try it out cos i bored. here the result...

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

(its does look like me in some way...)

2007-10-27T00:52:00.000+08:00

27 October 2007

My last post is like !#$^& years ago. partly becos i super lazy to post it down althought alot of things have happened. Being packed by things to do everyday only some time at night will feel very bored nia.

I found out who my angel is liao. Haha. Being quite close to aloysius nowaday, partly becos he quite free and easily to talk to. we had alot of even planning and lining up for us. hope it can come true ah..

I got my enlisting letter. 13 march is the doom day ah. it not long and not short just trying to make full use of everyday i have to ppl i close with and they free too. if not i will staying at home and rot.

My pay coming out next week, really feel like go somewhere shop shop abit since this mth i cant do much cos i having a 2 person expenses each timei go out. I needa pay for my 'girlfriend' aloysius cos his bank account being frozen and dun have any. After this experience, whoo really thank God i dun have a girlfriend now. if not you see my face on newspaper front page the next day, cos i commit suicide liao. haha.

watching yu le bai fen bai le...
caos.

2007-10-15T00:48:00.000+08:00

15 October 2007

All things start anew. A decision i take that would change my life in a brand new way.
A new chapter in my life that i am going to live.

This week will be an exciting week. I going to sing till i drop and really mean drop cos going for a singing marathon. tml have one with aloy and mayb another one with shan and cuen. It will be an unforgetable week as kbox having its annivsary and the cost will be 5++ dollar.

by the way, annoucing to everybody that sometime this web is use it as an dustbin. when i am feel unhappy or wad, i would just write it down and after it i am ok liao. So dun nneda feel tt i am sad or wad and give encourage word lah...can save some typing. =D

I really really like xing guang bang ah. I wanna buy their album ah the lastest one...my angel can help me get it if he/she can afford. LOL!!!

gonna get some sleep before my marathon tml.

you still wanna be friend with me?

2007-09-25T13:35:00.000+08:00

25 Sep 2007

Well this few days, especially this 2 days has been the worst.
Super ANGRY, FAN and LOUSY FEELING.

I feel being underrated, overlooked and underestimate my abilities.
I am super-irritated when it come to this and that, the feeling of being treated as 'noobies'.
It come worst when it smth i matter most...*has been control myself to scold !#$%^&*

My internal has been different from my outside appearance so far.

It look calm and quiet outside but angry and nasty inside.
It seem ok outside but it troubled me inside.
It seem i got alot of friends but it nth when it come to troubled times.
and etc...

The feeling being an outcast again...
what are friends for when conversation become plain.
no more listening ears around...
which i blog just to vent out as nobody really care.
I not as positive as people see...
sometime i just a bad kid that just insisted of what he wants.
I not as friendly as people think...
I maybe but i just will keep distance with people i dun like or feel threaten with.
Being selective.
I not as weak or simple-minded as people see...
I will just be strong-headed as anyone if the things i feel it correct.
I not as easy to bully as your think...
I just a fiery and hot-tempered person waiting to explode anytime.
I not so self-high esteem as your think...
I a low self-esteem person using a joker personality to cover it.
I not as strong emotion as your think of...
I am just so weak in emotion that i think i not even a guy. -.-

Many people think they know me but not totally.
Hardly anybody truely want to know me too...
by the count of people reading this post i know.
Nobody truely care, nobody truely understand.

I especially hated just to be a defender...does anybody know this?
hardly...

This may be all the reason bah...
all the reason that i am limited in my work and anythink i do.
my relation with people and etc...

THE SUPER "FAN" PERIOD...
your understand?

2007-09-18T02:30:00.000+08:00

分開以後

想喊你確沒敢開口
最後只有留著淚看你走
我想問我是否真願意就這樣放手
既然無法挽留只好接受

從今以後你要寂寞多久
誰能給予你我這般溫柔
也許是多慮了你離開我會過的更快樂
可對於軟弱的我回憶就足夠

分開以後每當想到你就會低下頭
緊握著手不知過了多久
我相信你也會有一樣的辛酸難受
都曾經深愛過誰又真的捨得

再你離開之後想快樂也只是一種強求
一個人怎麼過都是愁
懂得擁有卻未必能讓你為我停留
最後只剩遺憾拉住我不放手

分開以後每當想到你就會低下頭
緊握著手不知過了多久
我相信你也會有一樣的辛酸難受
都曾經深愛過誰又真的捨得

再你離開之後想快樂也只是一種強求
一個人怎麼過都是愁
懂得擁有卻未必能讓你為我停留
最後只剩遺憾拉住我不放手。。。

I will have be work in 10 hours time but i still here blogging.
Kinda cannot sleep and decided to put a new song on my blog. its tang yu zhe new song and i like it very much.

Althougt i do admit some part it not very nice but i sure can feel by the song. Lyrics is quite sad and mayb just bcos the sad part make me being touch by the song. I do admit i will feel abit emo or very emo after listening to this song.

This is the POWER of songs...
I will try my best to write something like that i hope, but i kinda slack now. Working and laziness is the main cause of my motivation to complete things.

I wanna do cell refreshment this week, crack my brain alot of times today as i wanna something new and refreshing. I suppose to go window shop in supermarket for ideas but end up in my bed for most of the day. I think i will go browse for ideas during my break tml..

anyways, enjoy the song...

分開以後.
fei kai yi hou.
after we break-up.

2007-09-16T00:39:00.000+08:00

16 Sep 2007

I feel like i doing the same thing over and over again today.
Agrh!!!...
I dun wanna be the low self-esteem and no confidence guy again.
Hao Fan Hor!!!...

Today svc was good, althougt i admit that i didnt pay much attendtion to it. Partly is because at first i tot is the offering msg first, so i wait a long time..kinda doozed off den starting to wonder why the offering msg is so long before i start to pay attendtion and start writing notes.
By the time i start writing, i already miss a big part and kinda did not have any feel to write notes and it will in bits.

fellowship was ok i think, many of us feel tired and left early. i think wayniho this nick is more well-known after today, which before today ppl like huahui doesnt know it. the irony is that wayniho can convert into a chinese wording...
wayniho = wei ni hao.
and it really pei me alot as i also a person tt think of other before i think for myself.
maybe i can even write a song about this nick of my...

tomorrow starting work. =(
monday gotta play soccer with ryan they all again. =D
another busy week...
post soon.

2007-09-14T02:34:00.000+08:00

14 Sep 2007

I learn to view things in different ways i think, being more positive then i could say from last week. Thinking in a new ways and doing things in a different ways i hope..

'Only foolish people do the same thing over and over again, hoping it to have a different result.'

Suddenly think of this phrase when i start writing this post. Maybe that me in the past, doing the same old thing again hoping a different result. A foolish person indeed, it time to change to end the foolish act of what i doing. Try to do a different way could help, but i know doing it the God way sure help and it surely would change the result.

Life have been packed this week. it seem even i not working, there alot of things for me to do. It would definitely help me kill my boredom and silly thoughts of my. I been trying to learn guitar on my own, but it still lousy i would say. it takes time and i think a mentor would be a great help to me if anyone is willing. Doing some song-writing too and i could say it take time too...Lyric have been a headacde and i do not think what i produce is up to standard yet, not even my own standard.

Work starting next week, i think i would been drag myself to it. -.-
It would end soon i think...but what i wanna do now is to change myself.
and i mean everywhere of myself that needed to improve.

2007-09-07T00:45:00.000+08:00

07 Sep 2007

this few day i dun feel good. kinda got alot of feeling mixed up, seem emo.
Not in the best of my mood, maybe partly becos wad i planning didnt come out as wad i expect.
Had a great time talking to qi xuan about my thoughts...when it seem there no more listening ears ard, she there for me to 'throw' out of my things.
Partly i think becos she know the serect also le, so it kinda more easy to share it out. but i still fear the worse, maybe the main lead really know le bah. LOL!!! What can i do? nothing...

Friends also another part i sick and tired with. mayb is I the one cant handle well relation or others wrong. I just dun feel much importance in ppl life. no significance in what so ever...
with or without me is still the same, no difference. Mayb I just an item for entertainment in their life...i dunno.

Being seriously defeated in this part of my life, which i do not know what to do.
sick and tired.

2007-09-04T23:38:00.000+08:00

04 Sep 2007

Finally have my 2 weeks break. Thinking of having some gathering with friends but it turn out been not so succeful as wad i think it would be. Anyway, i still enjoy myself from this break. it go like this...

Sun: Went for SOTM series last lesson in svc. Suppose to work that day but because i do not feel well and dun feel like going, i take off from work. I nv regret it, went to comex with shan ryan they all and have a great time there. Ryan got a psp so it mean next time i got ppl to challenge with. We went to watch 'ratatouille' after those shopping with cuen they all as they went shopping as we go it fair. the movie was not bad but i feel we got cheated by the fare as we took a cab home. it cost $35 for 4 of us who staying cck,batok and jurong to reach home which i feel it unreasonable ah.

Mon: I got a date with winson as we nv go bowling for a long time. at first tot that those usual guys would come too but it only the 2 of us. so i call along ryan and shan, but siying coming also in the end. LOL. The 3 guys went for some shopping first before meeting shan and sy in je. It was a good day until some inccident cos the whole atmosphere quite tense. Overall,i still think we enjoy ourselves there bah, or at least for me.

Today: Not a good day to start with. Went soccer with his cell member and others. totally exhuasted as i has a long time since i played. today i just dun feel good mayb things that happened caused it. quite down, quite bad...and not matter how i cheer myself, it wouldnt work.

i found this quote quite meaningful, "it would not cost you anythink to say 'i love you' to the one you love again and again." I translate into english but not sure it is the real translation but it give me a deep impression of that quote. a simple thing is so hard to do for a person like me, just like say is easier than done. all carry the same meaning and effort. Now, I think only ryan and shan understand me bah...

2007-08-16T13:10:00.000+08:00

16 August 2007

Since a long time i blogged.
Been really busy this few weeks...spend too much time working.
It almost became a routine to go for work, just like ppl going to school.
althougt it fun sometime when talking crap and joke ard with the aunties there.
I feel that i miss and sacrifice alot too in other things.

Disappointed and angry with one of my friend.
I nv talk to him or them much after those incident.
Excuses and personal attack wouldnt do any good in any relationship.
this something that i learn from it and what i experienced.

Aaron came to service last week, saw a big change in him.
The 'hair' part i mean...
From long to botak to now.
I do not recognise him when we sitting on the same bench waiting for others.
Really miss those time the 5 of us are tgt...
now each of us just busy with our own things.
different paths, different responsibilities.
especially Aaron, tt idoit know everything about me even i telling him about it.
WT!!!

planning to take a long break from work in sep..
Hope can do sometime meaningful then.

2007-08-01T00:20:00.000+08:00

1 August 2007

Alot of things happened this few weeks.
Ryan going to another cell..quite shock when i first heard about it last fri.
I'll miss him and everything about him as a friend.
I believe friends dun come by easily, so must cherish them.

Last Sunday is a good day.
i manage to get s.h.e autograph on my album and...
I got the chance to SHAKE ALL THEIR HAND.
LOL!!!
I shake hebe's hand lei...muhahaha!!!
dun jealous...
=D

change my blog song to 林宥嘉 de 我爱的人...
I like the song alot.
especially the chores "我爱的人不是我的爱人"
I feel for the song alot...it somehow can describe my feeling well.

I being super sick this few days too...
too heaty i think.
Having running nose and cough non stop with i think my throat bleeding...
argh...hope it get better tml or i need not go to work le.

2007-07-25T02:09:00.000+08:00

25 July 2007

I'm going crazy soon..
argh!!!
and i mean real soon.
Wahahaha!!!
Na Na Ni Bu Bu...

2007-07-18T02:38:00.000+08:00

18 July 2007

罗志祥-爱转角

我伪装着
不露痕迹的想在你身边
静静的陪着看着天边
骑着单车
往前行进着
某个路口爱在等着

你往前走
不回头看了记忆的笑脸
缓缓的敲着我的琴键
我不舍得
让你孤单单的
我爱你的心牵挂着

心不再拚命躲不去害怕结果
假设有个以后你会怎么说
一直想跟你说幸福不再溜走
下个路口你会看见爱
有美丽笑容

爱转角遇见了谁是否有爱情的美
爱转角以后的街能不能有我来陪
爱转角遇见了谁是否不让你流泪
也许陌生到了解让我来当你的谁
我不让爱掉眼泪不让你掉眼泪
现在永远
你就是我就是我的美

爱转角遇见了谁是否有爱情的美
爱转角以后的街能不能有我来陪
爱转角遇见了谁是否不让你流泪
将寂寞孤单作废让我来当你的谁
我不让爱掉眼泪不让你掉眼泪
现在永远
你就是我就是我的美

my song of the day.
I feel it describe my feeling the most today.
a nice song i feel, the lyric is what i want to say.
an encouraging song that feel both happy and emo?
this is how i feel about the song...i dunno about your.
a song with a mixed feeling itself.
words from the main actor wanted to tell the main actress...
but fail to do it.

the song from a show 'corner with love'...
this song also remind me of smth,
it the 'corner with love 2' that i watch every thur, sat and sun. (if you know what i mean.)
Muahaha!!!

Erm...
I still hide alot with me...alot of things.
Dunno wad to say...but i not fan and not emo.
Not feeling sad too..whahaha.
i dunno wad i saying.

what shld i do?

2007-07-17T00:31:00.000+08:00

17 July 2007

My heart feel heavy now...
Thinking of something yet thinking of nothing.
the feeling is like !%#$@....

Wanted to share yet dun think anyone one would listen...
no listening ears near me now..
no people to chat with...
i hate this type of lonleliness feeling.
it is becos it will just make me think alot and alots.

I really dun feel good this few weeks since smth 'big' happened,
and many ppl know abt it. (your would know wad i mean.)
Quite 'fan' abt that...and smth closely related to tt.

arghh...i need some stress out.
i will go crazy sooner or ltr ah...

who care enough to listen to me?
i dunno...

2007-07-15T22:15:00.000+08:00

15 July 2007

Today is sunday yet it doesnt feel sunny at all.
being thru alots of events i feel is bad more than those good ones.
especially on friendship...

Nothing more i could say but nvm...
what is past is past.
What more can i say when all things things go the 'bad' way.
Mayb i shld find a new group, mayb not...i dunno.

True friends.
Hard to get by one i think...
people dun cherish it when they in one.

Being a 'S' person like me...
Doubt even many people get to see anything i write here,
or they dun even care to read anythings tt writen here.
feel abit angry and down...

But there still good news yeah...
today service was good, learn a good words from Dr. Richard Roberts.
Had a good time fellowship, althougt is from 10 to 4 to just wenshan and me eating.
talk quite alot with her yet i still feel i got alot nv tell her or dun dare to say it out.
LOL!!!

Watch Harry Potter with my bro.
the show is ok..abit dragging i feel.
A sentance impact me alot in the show in one of the conversation...
'Control your emotion, Discipline your mind.'

Those words impact me a great way...
it simple yet complicated,
easier to say than done.
something i feel can be done when you feel emo...
it take effort yeah.

alot of things i wanna say...
but i just dunno how to put it.

2007-07-10T23:45:00.000+08:00

10 July 2007

Suddenly feel like emo...
but dun have the feeling to feel that way.

'說你愛我 say you love me' by s.h.e
suddenly come out from my mouth...
nice song, sad song...

I suddenly dunno what to say,
what to write..

its 11.55pm now,
ben and zg would know wad i thinking if they see..
cause we are now talking about it.
ben say smth that which i thinking...

i dunno wad to say,
wad to write again...

haha...wad sia!!!
suddenly start being so emo liao..
emo for what siol...
my days of freedom are numbered.
i shld be enjoying it mah...
feel so emo for wad sia...
idiot siol !!!

i just putting a mask on..
its hurts!!!

2007-06-29T02:07:00.000+08:00

29 June 2007

this week had been a troubled week.
sort of it...
back to long hours of working and etc.
been emo-ing sometime when i know not suppose to.
-.-

emo-ing killing me!!!
argh...
random thoughts just come through like tt...
sian.
need to get rid of it.

think of closing blog sooner or later.
it just my thoughts anyways and people dun care.
i think i would still blog but privately as to express my feeling out to myself.
anyways, only my friends know wad i thinking of...
and only those read my blog would know me better.
so i dun think others care much about me either...
so why would i blog for them to read if they dun even wanna read...rite?

i tired..

2007-06-25T00:17:00.000+08:00

25 June 2007

Guess my friend test is way too easy...
especially for those who know all my secrets. -.-
actually wanted to put harder question in it but,
it way too obvious if i put it so i did not.

i saw one person blog which make me quite angry about it.
the person is saying to one guy that 'you aint fit to be my friend.'
those words hurts lah...
althougt saying the truth, i do not actually like tt guy well either.
to be fair, how would one know you well enough if you do not let him near you?
i know i also in the wrong as i would direct 'suan' him sometime...
but not to that extend 'you aint fit to be my friend.' ah.
that why the person doesnt have much true friends too...
there is no humanity in him.

all he care about is himself.

www.wayniho10.blogspot.com

2007-06-22T03:00:00.000+08:00

22 June 2007

feeling bored now.
since i have nth to do...i created a test out of my boreness.
think it should be fun, your can go try and see how well your know me.
i think it could be abit troublesome,
cause it need to create an account before you can do it.
but i think true friends will do that extra mile right?
i wonder how many would do it..LOL
(one time will do, dun need to try over and over again)

have sleepless night this few days.
i feel quite alive at night and i think it been my most active moment now.
also thinking of some issues...
which is useless as wad wenshan says.

try my best to wake up from my dreamland...
stop making excuses and get real with life.
i want to be a good finisher !!!

2007-06-21T03:39:00.000+08:00

21 June 2007

blog.
a gateway for people to keep their journal online.
a journal that open to everyone.
a place where freedom of speak can be express openly.
a place where you can put anything that is legal here.

the once 'in' thing become common now.
people use it lesser and lesser...
people who only read others blog use it as a gossip channel.
getting the lastest news of what happening around you.
it also a way for people to vent things out in a decent way.
and others to get attention from others.

emotion are written here...
but not all are publish.
some people would do it like that.
write it down to release smth out in your heart you keep it for so long.
with nobody would be keen to listen, blog is your best friend.
using self-hypnosis and self-encouragement to lift up your spirit.
in some ways, i would do that...being emo-ing like some freak out there in the world.
self- console myself to deal the situation i facing, the problem of the day.

life's complicated.

2007-06-20T02:26:00.000+08:00

20 June 2007

I cant sleep in the middle of the night.
Not tired...

browsing through people blog and friendster.
start to reflect and think of things along the way...

things like love...
as easy as it can be for some people,
as complicated as it can be for others.
it can either be as sweet or as sad as what ever you can think of.
a matter of the heart that not easily to be filled or satisfy.
it take 2 hands to clap and it easily broken.
when it broken, it take time to heal...
some may take a short time, some longer.

people...
we are all different and original.
although we have the same image and personality of god.
some people like to forgive one person by tell the whole world...
which i think is lame.
some people like to gain attention by disturbing others...
which i think is useless and irritating.
some people just being himself most of the time...
which make me feel quite tired.
so many different types of people we facing everyday...
different problems arise with different people you facing each day.

other things like...
'say is easier than done' quote.
i want to be this...
i want to do this...
i want this...i want that.
it is always easier to be say than done.
some people just lack the will/esteem/perseverance to do this.
people including me...

sorry if i offend anyone..
i know we are commanded to love people fervently..
but i just do not feel good if i keep in my heart.
I know i still have some 'i am who am i..' attitude in me,
i need time to change..I'll will try my best to change.

sincerely apologised to several people in this entry if you know who you are.
sorry for my straight-forwardness.
i just need some space to let out all these...
to stop me from thinking some others things.

be a problem solver !!!

2007-06-18T21:02:00.000+08:00

18 June 2007

Official 19 yrs old today.
Thank God for friends, this yrs is quite a special one for me.
Considered 'special' cause i did not expect much from people...
Part of it is laziness, another part is feel kinda stupid to tell everybody about it.
Friends would know you well like for e.g. birthday if they care about you i think.
Althougt some have bad memory, most of them not i think.
I always believe if you really know somebody, you will know almost every detail about that person like birthday.

Thank constance, wenshan, jerry, susan, js, khoofang.
the 'happy birthday' msg mean alot to me.
Thank SLT for those celebration tgt...
especially i just find out i have the same birthday as gerald.
Lastly thank God for everything.
everything he has plan for me no matter is the past,now and future.

I only have one thing to ask for..
can my wishes be fufilled this yrs?

2007-06-15T17:24:00.000+08:00

14 June 2007

We having cg outing at east coast park.
I having a 'fun' time i think, having ppl to smash me with water-bombs.
What a 'unique' birthday celebration !!!
It was really surprising as i think it would be on sat.
Thank the cell for preparing this things for me lah...
and ppl like siying, who bake the muffins cake for me ah.
Dunno wad to say le coz i no good at words.

19th birthday coming...
feel abit 'cao lao' the feeling sia.
so fast another yrs gone le, yet i haven achived anything yet.
many wishes and dreams not come true, not sure if it will but by faith that it will come.

Oh ya...i addicted to 18 jin bu jin.
It is taiwan idol drama...
its teach and tell about teenagers' problems in a cute and funny way.
the song in tt drama is nice too.
your shld watch it but youtube seem to have prob now.
It cant find ep1 now coz my bro try to find it with no result.

Needa can new guitar string le..
it break when i prac. ytd..
Sian!!!

2007-06-04T01:31:00.000+08:00

4 June 2007

Emerge finally over!!!
A wonderful 4-days, 8-sessions we have during this conference.
I think i now down with flu...
But i think it all worth it.

I like the song now on my blog.
It just sound so sweet and the lyrics is so romantic ah...
We also witness Liu Gen Hong propose to his gf, ViVi when he sing this song.
Tank and F.I.R are in this Emerge conference too !!!

幸福的距离-刘耕宏

窗外开始下起毛毛雨
云遮住了星星
夜深了还没有睡意
翻来覆去地想你
时钟嘀嗒嘀嗒的声音
像在说我爱你
转过两点三点到六点
恨不得快点见到你

幸福的距离就算万公里
在你眼里有我想要的勇气
从南极飞到北极
南京到北京
你的笑胜过那些美景
我们勾勾手就一言为定
我会傻傻地好好地爱你
你的名加我的姓
永远在一起
拥抱多过千言万语

2007-05-23T02:01:00.000+08:00

23 May 2007

Havent been blogging for quite some time.
Been busy with work and etc...
And the most importance thing is i gt nth to blog about.

I saw some of my friends' blog.
They or the person being emo around. -.-
I know people sometimes will tend to feel down but...
Why everytime the posts seem more emo den the last post.
Why most people would post more emo post den a happy one?

I certainly do not know..
I only know I am happy with what i have now.
A good family, good church, good cellgroup and cgl, good friends, good work.
Althougt sometime i tend to make a few mistakes here and there.
Especially work, when sometime you feel stress and bothered about it.
I love the presence of God.
I will do anythink for Him, serve Him with what i can.

I think i am healed slowly from the hurt from the dismissal from np.
I starting to confess when people ask me why,
Which i will curse and swear.
I know i not perfect, but i trying my best to change for the better.

Everyday is a surprise...
Expect the dragging routine to work.
Not sure if i will working for a long term.
The main problem is it is not flexible for me enough to take off easily,
While others people taking off is just a feat.
Still considering whether shld i continue to work there.

Ciao~

Post again when i got think to write.

2007-05-08T23:22:00.000+08:00

08 May 2007

Finally got one day off from my work.
But somehow i feel i wasted it.
Didnt enjoy the break i have.
The thought of working feel better for me.
The feeling of lonliness i feel, as people are busy with their schoolwork.
A simple meal suddenly seem so hard.

haiz..nvm.

They have school yet i dun have.
That the difference that set us apart.

Meet up my poly fren for some k-boxing.
It ok. Not good and not bad.
Just average.
They rush home too cause tml got school.
Wad can i do?

Home loh...
A place for lonliness and four wall that surround you.
Siansation is all i have.

wasted day.

the other side of me - www.wayniho10.blogspot.com

2007-05-05T01:29:00.000+08:00

5 May 2007

I had a great time today.
Watched spider-man 3 with wenshan and poh.
Nice movie.
I learned alot from this movie.

Thank wenshan and poh also...
They wait for me to end work yesterday,
And watch movie with me today.
I feel very touched by it.

I needa have some stress out.
Being nag for no reasons everytime.
When i does not have a job...nagging from my aunt.
When i have a job...nagging from my aunt again.
Because i take off?
I am a human pls!!!
I need a break too...
especially so many things bothering me.

I feel like having my own home soon.
A place where i can relax with no people nagging at me.
Being nag the whole time without knowing what i feel.
It suck to the core!!!

Went to Np today...
Still feel very vexed about the place, the lecturers and all the F***ing people there.
I have nth more than all the vulgar language to describe it.
Np suck and i would not want to be part of it anymore.
Lucky i last year emerge using the name of westwood and not Np.
Reprsenting West and not Np.
I never regret it.

suddenly my world seems crashing down again.
www.wayniho10.blogspot.com

2007-05-03T03:30:00.000+08:00

3 May 2007

Something make me realise...
Maybe it is best to preserve the kind of relationship we having now.
Not too much...
Not too less.

I dun wish to give her something to bother about...
or to stress about.
It my feeling anyways, let her know does not have any impact or effect.
It is my choice to keep or to say it out.
And my chioce is to keep it.

I would be happy just to see her smile everytime i meet her.
Not trying to be hero or 'wei da'...
I really happy to have the relationship we having now, just friends.
I dun wish to spolit this friendship because of a 'feeling' i have for her.
Althougt sometime i wish too..

father God,
help me get out of the situation i'm in.
Tell me what to do.
Heal me of all my hurts.
In Jesus name,i pray.

2007-04-29T23:59:00.000+08:00

30 April 2007

I was feeling troubled this days.
Something just cant sort out in my mind.
The stress of emo-ing too much.

I hate it but i cant help it.
Suddenly feel so empty again.
Suddenly feel so alone again.

What a problem i have..sian.

www.wayniho10.blogspot.com
press the link above to know me more.
only if you cares.

2007-04-24T02:32:00.000+08:00

24 April 2007

Reflection on my life

I am the biggest grandchildren both on my father's and mother's side. Being pampered since small, got most of the things i wants. Both my parents were good to me, get me whatever i wanted. Every years they would celebrate my birthday, but that fade as time go by.

Primary school. I would say the period that shown my brightest side of my brain and my darkest period of my childhood. Although i always the quiet one in class but my grade were not bad. I would always be the one solve maths question in front of the class. My darkest period is the time i stay at my aunt's place(not the one i staying with now). My brother and I got to stay there because my father went heavily in debt because of heavy gambling. They put us at my aunt's place as they need to 'play-n-seek' with their creditors. I would have to help out with their shop when i staying with them. Lack of sleep, Working and Studying. I seriously have no fun during that period of time. I cant even watch a TV show, play PlayStation or watch my cousin play game. I remember i also being caned by my aunt a lot of times back then, forced to eat food that i dun like. My mum fetch us home after my father's debt stabilise and knowing our life at my aunt's place.

My secondary school life was normal. I gotta a lot of freedom after i went back my own home. This result me to be demoted to normal acad after first years of secondary education. My best and saddest period of my life are my secondary school days in normal acad. I got my best buddies here when we share thick and thin together. We never hand in homework together, defy teachers together, play soccer/basketball everyday together and other things together.
Nobody can break us apart, unless some of them have girlfriends. I the only one among them still does not have a girlfriend before. I wondering if i ever would have one? My secondary school life also are the saddest as the heartbreak i have suffered. I like the person for 3 years, didnt confess to her and take any action. She somehow notice it and start the long period of avoiding. Althougt we being classmates for 4 years, both of us is like a stranger to each other.
I will be smiling the whole day if she talk to me. I or shld i say we came to know it long ago that she does not have any feeling for me via her friends and herself. I got to saw it on msn when she talking to my friends. Sound silly but i always hope for the best and try to think the positive side which now left a deep hurt and a deep fear of girls.Anyways, I still had to thank her alot. I got the chance to knoe God and come to church via her.

Church life is fun!! Enjoy the presence of God and got to know alot of friends. I got some realli good friends that can share my problem with, people like Ben and Zhenguo. Sorry to trouble your lately. I being under two great cellgroup leaders althougt i have misunderstanding with one of them. Thank Wenshan and Stephen for your great leadership!!

My life in poly suck!! Your should know the reasons and i do not mention much. I gald i meet friend like agdoron. He really is a good friends expect sometimes he goes overboard without thinking what others people feel.

That my life so far...
How far can i go? I dun know
How would my life be like? I dun know
What I will be in the future? I dun know

Your would know more about me if your read this post.
But i wouldnt think anybody would read.

Still the cowardly me.
I fear of facing the true.

~end~

2007-04-22T01:06:00.000+08:00

22 April 2007

I feel much better now.
Being listen to some songs lately...
Addicted to it cuz somehow it can describe me very well.

I love listen to songs.
Especially some songs' lyric were so powerful that it touch ur heart.
Lyric that can describe what u feel and in now.
What u feel like doing yet u dun dare.
Songs are so powerful that u can feel sad/emo, encourage or stir your energy up.

I like the song 'Qi Shi Hai Ai Ni' by Ah qing now...
it really can describe my feeling somehow and i can connect to it very well.
But please and please hor, dun misunderstood it.
If you know what i meant, cuz the song translate to eng is 'I still love you'
I didnt mean the person your thinking about...
Only those know me well will understand. =D
Right Ben?

其实还爱你 - 阿沁

我讨厌阴天的风
冷得那么刺痛
只有你能够抚平所有的寂寞
昨天的风筝在角落
被谁丢到了路口
我很不想让你找到离开的理由
每一夜闭上眼睛
我看到了恶梦
你微笑但是旁边的人不是我
天空切开一道裂缝
直接割到我心中
不想装作脆弱
也不想爱得懦弱
其实我非常爱
你不想失去
你难道我没有权利
说我不愿意
你给了他的吻
虽然只有余温
可知道我多渴望抓住你的心
我知道他很爱你你怕他伤心
我每天假装开心害怕你离去
可不可以任性
求求你不要去
藏在我心里最后一句
其实还爱你
可不可以任性
求求你不要去
藏在我心里最后一句
其实还爱你

2007-04-19T02:15:00.000+08:00

19 April 2007

Decided to continuing blogging.
Surely people will up against me..
"U the one who say dun wanna blog but still blog. No a man of ur promises."

But ya..this is my life.
I do what i want to do and what God wants me to do yeh...

Really gt alot of problems during this period of time.
No have the energy to argue or to insult anyone.
Thank nameless.
I know what you trying to say but it would not help for me.
For your tag i would only think to 3 person close to me who will write this.
It is either Darius, Jerry or Stephen.( if you know what my thinking is.) it just wild guesses.
But anyways, God bless you. =D

Thank khoo fang and kaixun too...
At least i realise people still cares about me.
Which sometime i fail to do it myself.
And Khoo fang...that impossible is nothing is just a slogan from adidas.
I still do not think i can make the impossible happened expect...
the first one from ur to be dismissed.
That impossible right? but i did it.
haiz...

Really very very tired of everything.
Especially this one things tt i still cant figure it out.
No courage to face it.
Is it real or is this just a dream?
The mixed feeling that i hardly experience...
Fear, Hurt and others coming in and confused my mind.
Am i in a right state of mind?
A problem i dun dare to put it down or exposed.
A problem hardly people know expect close friends

Tired..

What you see maybe is not what you know...
I finally understand why do grown-up keep things to themselves.
Pride it may be...
But they do not want others to worry about their problem.
I also feel the same, only to stress some out in my blog.

Sorry for all the emo post i post.
I needa stress out...
to let the happy-go-lucky tianlong out in front of your.

end...
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From myself:
You still a coward...chua tian long.
We always joke about jackie being the coward but u are the real coward man...
How many times u fail to say or admit it liao.

To myself:
Cannot ah...almost impossible lei.
I dun wanna spolit it and it is almost impossible tt i am the lucky one.
You know ah...i play anythink oso lose de.
% of we to win a game is only 1 nia..

From myself:
wao lao lei...
Dun tell me u didnt win last emerge winning eleven challenge.
Dun tell me u the only one nv tio forfeit when 5 of us play games while drink vodka.

To myself:
Ya lah...
tt stupid vodka. if i nv go mean serect would not be split and exposed.
After telling other i become more and more scare sia...

From myself:
Wao lao lei...
i also dunno what to say u liao ah.
Where is ur courage?

2007-04-16T01:42:00.000+08:00

16 April 2007

School starting today...but not for me.
sad to say, but i belong no where and this feeling sux.

After the whole event happened, my world just turn upside-down.
Family bias against me,
Brother and sister take advantage of me,
Friends look down on me.
What a sad life i have!!!

Just look at this blog,
so deserted !!!
Nobody tagged,
Nobody view.
I just writing for my own leisure.
It just mean that nobody cares about me.
Nobody wants to take time off reading my boring blog.
Nobody cares about a Loser who did nth right in his life.
Even a retard wouldnt care this blog of my.

I hate this feeling.
I hate my life.
It sux to the core !!!!
What a coward I am !!
What a loser I am !!!
Only failure and unsuccessful befall on me !!!

Never did a thing right in my life before.
Being forever so dumb, so stupid in my life.
Nobody likes me !!!
even i do not likes myself.
Only know how to brag...
but never have any action right !!

Lousy in study,
Lousy in games,
Lousy in soccer,
Lousy in attitude,
Lousy in friendship,
Lousy in relationship,
Lousy in love.

You are just a loser, CHUA TIAN LONG.
You deserved it !!!
You will never make it anywhere.
You do not even dare to make the first move.
YOU ARE SUCH A COWARD !!!!
YOU ARE SO UGLY!!!
Both inside and outside.
That why no people likes you.
LOSER!!!
YOU'RE A LOSER!!!
YOU DISGRACE EVERYBODY THAT KNOW YOU!!!
YOU'RE AN DISGRACE TO YOUR FAMILY!!!

My last entry,
since nobody likes me.

chua tian long.

2007-04-08T15:18:00.000+08:00

8 April 2007

I had a sleepless night.
Being thinking alot after so many things happened.
Scold alot of vulgarities when i saw flashes of BE director on my mind.
Quite emo this few days, i think i just need time for myself to clear my mind.
Easter Drama has been great!!!
What shock my most is that i saw marklin in the play,
Which mean i could have been in it if i join.
Wasted!!!

I feel that my confidence is getting lower, althougt i does not show it..
So is my self-esteem.
I do not dare to speak to the person eyes to eyes anymore..
Scare that sending the wrong msg would kill !!
Afraid that rumour would spread and distance between us draw further..
I do want to experience that again.
Really had a bad experience after that...
And that really hurt!!

Confused.

2007-04-06T03:32:00.000+08:00

6 April 2007

I being you tubing this few days.
I watch all the programme that have s.h.e in it.
Hebe damn chio loh..how i wish a gf like that. LOL!!!!

She is that sort of person quiet quiet one but can suddenly break everyone into laughter.
And her eyes can attract people ah...that what i like the most.
But on the other side, if a she or someone similar to her was my gf...somewhat i surely have low self-esteem.
Standing beside a girl so pretty, sure got alot of suitors and you surely will think if you are compatible to her.

Getting emo this days...start to think alot of things again.
Ocean so wide and i am so tiny.
Sky is so high and i cannot even reach it.
Forest so big and i cant even have one tree.
What people achived yet i have none.

Something really think that 'AM I A FAILURE!'
Where is my destiny?
Am i on the right path?
Why eveything just didnt got into my ways?
Am i irritating, so terrible that people trying to avoid me?
Why everytime i am the odd one out?
What is wrong with me?

All this things make me very shag.
Shag in term of tired, sick of it.

I dont think alot of people reading my blog.
Maybe i should closed it down to end all misery for you people.
Stop all the crap i toking to your...your dun care anyways

*In emo world*

2007-04-05T03:16:00.000+08:00

5 April 2007

Chalet was fun!!!
We did alot of stupid things together, had lots of fun down there.
I saw a car drift in front of me, cycle overnite till my butt pain, first time eat breakfast for 3 times (all macdonald), play mahjong so loudly just to wake other up for us to sleep.

The stupid things i done is to set the laptop password.
I remember losing tt game to gerome and jackie.
I start to got angry because gerome always get all the good players with him..so i set the password on my laptop so that others cannot use it.
The password i put is 'cb' which is a vuglar lah coz i damn angry at tt moment.
I let js use the laptop awhile later so he was asking me for the password and he was shock to heard wad i say first.
I then tell him the password is 'cb' and everybody start scolding me 'f*** lah, what stupid password is this.'

memorable chalet i had.

2007-04-01T03:02:00.000+08:00

April's Fool Day.

Didnt gt the chance to fool anyone or people to fool.
Read a post tt i think worth a try...by chance read rainie's blog (yang chen lin), quite a meaningful one especially for coward people like me.

The post is about that she testing what the person she liked feeling during april's fool day..so even she being rejected, she still have a backpass to round up her emberessment by saying 'April's Fool'

Nice tactic right? I dun even think of it.
Tomorrow going chalet...finally c8 reunion le.
So happy,excited...heard tt they will play water-bomb and i only bring 2 sets of clothing.

2007-03-29T02:03:00.000+08:00

Many things happened this 2 months. Quite 'Fan' by it...sometimes wanted to share but dunno how to speak it out. sometime wanna to share but nobody to go to. Is there anyone care about me? I not sure?

I dun wan this to happened and dun think it will happened. What a joke i got...and now all i can do is to waste my life away. Am i just useless? and achive nothing in life? Feel bad everytimes people talk about, especially my parents and aunt. I know i waste alot of their money and what i could to do is to piss them off with their loud voice when they start to nag.

Too many things happen at the same time, so short the time for me too realise it. it not just my personal things but also some other stuff which i got into somehow. Something that coz a person reputation, something so big that almost cause one of us into trouble. I know i dun like the person much but i didnt talk too much or almost nothing bad thing about him.

Oh ya...leak out some secert when some of us drink at a person house. Hope it wouldnt being spread around if not somthing big will happened to me again. I think i really fall hard this time. Alot of things keep in my heart that does not like to share coz i fear it happen again.

Quite down and depressed. Write for the sake of writing and to relase some stress. Coz i dun think anybody have the mood to read my blog. i am just a....*specchless*

2007-02-25T19:13:00.001+08:00

Bad day, Hard feeling.

2007-02-25T02:01:00.000+08:00

Alot of things to say, alot of burdens,alot of everythings...but do not know how to talk about it, express it and lazy to care it too.

Sick and tired.

hope tml soccer wif musicians agaianst bbg would be a fun one.

2007-02-11T22:44:00.000+08:00

Luo zhi xiang (xiao zhu) came to Singapore...and i manage to get my album signed. Hoorayy!!! All thax to my lovely brother who had to go coz he lose to me in a freekick challenage..muhahaha!!

Below are some photo my bro gt from the autograph session..

nice isnt it? lol...

ben they all gt their o lvl result this week oso...all of them did pretty well. actually those close to me de all did well...as in tt did better me ah. Sometime realli dun understand wad they meaning of bad result...haha. coz of me...the one i matter most is whether can can into poly and can go poly I happy liao.

I today went soccer with some church friends...musicians vs bbg match. Sadness..i never score any goal today and almost scold all the @#$$% words out loh. As i everytime being rule offside when i didnt...sibei frustrated sia. First time watch Bro.Poh play today...not bad sia, he score 2 goal loh.

listening cai min you's song...'我想要说' (wo xiang yao shou). Quite nice and quite sad also...u will noe when u listen wad is say. Dunno wad to say...but this song just kinda attracted me.

2007-02-01T00:01:00.000+08:00

Sad news happened in the entertainment industry, xu wei lun passed away in an car accident. It so sudden, couldnt believe it in the first place. She such a nice girl, so pretty and acting is so good...such a pity to left so soon. Althought it sad to see her died at such a young age, but on the positive side...we will learn that we must drive saftly and always put on our seatbelt.

R.I.P

wei lun,i will always remember you.

Exam coming liao, needa to study...hand in tutorial and everytink. Realli sick of the feeling of study. A urge to pull up my sock but just the thinking and not the doing part. The relation with cell is ok...not too good and not too bad. Miss those good old times...

Tank new album is out !!! i like his songs alot ah...must support him buy his album.(althougt i never did..O.o) I like the song 'fei ni mo shu' which at first sing by ariel lin yi chen (cute girl...)
and feature in the drama toyko juliet. Want the song? just open ur golden mouth and i am happily to share with you...lol.

2007-01-15T21:33:00.000+08:00

Years have pass...lots of things have happened, it feel like everything was just yesterday. My friends and I were casual toking as usual...we all feel one year just pass like that, everything seem just happened yesterday. We remember the first time we meet during orientation and realise why we are in this class...it is because we all fail our ENGLISH !!! This sentance somehow had a deep impression inside our heart that make us remember our poly life.

I also being in church for quite some time le bah...remember my first time is went for cg in peishan's hse. I remember that time dunno what happening there too...like just go for curiousity and some other motive. Remember that night went home with Ben and Cons...that time the first impression i had on Ben is ang moh pai and 'this guy like older than me' feeling which he is not and younger than me by 2 years. (ben saw this sure say"blanga." or "puboh"...lol)

I gain alot and loss alot both in church and the outside world. After this long but quick year 2006...Somehow have a feeling that i different from the past. From quite a quiet personality to quite a irritating personality, gains many friends in church and loss contract to many sec school friends, more grown up? mature? i dunno.

Holidays coming...seriously need to find a job to pay up my buliding funds and also buy a playstation portable to pamper myself...lol. I need the money and i seriously very por liao...so many outing so less money. sibei sian !!! Still waiting fo the call from drama ministry...hope it come soon.

joke of the day

A husband and wife were lying in bed together one night. The wife rolled over and placed her hand lovingly on the chest of her husband.

"Honey," the wife said, "if I died would you get married again?"

The husband said, "Never, my dear."

The wife said, "I''m sure you would."

So the husband said, "Okay, I would"

"Would you let her sleep in our bed?" the wife asked.

And the husband replied, "I suppose so."

Then the wife asked, "Would you let her wear my clothes?"

"I doubt she''d want to," the husband said. "She''d be so much thinner."

2006-12-31T02:27:00.000+08:00

A very tiring week...Chirstmas over and my time in Drama ministry ended. Waiting for audition nw before offically become one of them. Know quite a few people when in minstry, althougt is only one week but it seem lyk we known for yrs. I am the 2nd youngest in those hlping out in backstage...youngest one is 14 and we always call him ah boy. LOL. I think i gg to meet them tis coming monday if there is no cg outing.

This yrs i oso experience a different thankgiving...and i still hlp out as an usher loh. Dunno why i end up as one oso -.-" . Enjoy every part of it...expect tt it is nt wif ben thy all but nvm ba..since we still gt tok and meet up when we free. Stephen so talented loh...know hw to ply sexaphone (wrong spelling) i noe...my english has always being tt bad. Getting use to the cell beta le...but still seem lack of smth different.

Oh ya !! Heard from zg tt dunno which %#$@! say i veri happily ard tt i haf to help out in e the cell aft the most in-charge of jean n pm loh. Realli %#$!@... I dun lyk it lar..so stress..den cannt say no the feeling..SIAN. I wanna be an OM...nw i noe hw ben is feeling loh. LOL. Not say i dun wan grow but it seem too fast.

This let me recall one of the trip home wif krystal, kevin and da xi. We were toking den i come to realise tt kevin is a cgl and krystal is a pcgl(dunno correct ornt but those becoming one de)....krystal veri I de lar, keeping toking and toking and suddenly ask me whether gt wanted to become cgl or helper. I forget wad i sae den she say dunno wad gif anoniting to me to become one or wad de lar. And nw...haiz !!! realli abit too fast loh.

All the people frm DM veri fun de lar...and oso veri spiritual de loh. The one week i spend wif them is worthwhile and i think i gt grow alot and learn alot frm them. They somewhat gt abit of insprie me to become one of them one day loh.

Kana sprained my wriast ytd when playing soccer...Nw my left hand kana pain sia.
Internet connection has being lagging since taiwan earthqukes...sian could not do much tinks.

ended.

2006-12-19T02:20:00.000+08:00

This week is a busy week, I gt alot of drama rehearsal...but it nt tiring at all. Drama ministry has so much fun than i can tink of...We all work hard and play hard together. I still adapting to the minstry thus had nt tok much yet but by just listen to wad thy tok is oso an enjoyment. Lot of crap and laugters...i certainly hope tt i can stay in this ministry for a long time and nt oni for this christmas event only!!

I tink it time to make more frens. Many of my fren nt ard tis week...and most of em are my best fren. Example like Ben, went for a holiday trip to China.(i wonder hw he cope wif his chinese there..sure alot of funny tink happen de LOL!!)...other lyk Aaron n Winson went in army le(have nt call em yet so dunno hw thy doin?). Oh ya...btw i finally had a feel of army in tekong coz i went to sent farewell to winson. He realli feel nervous on the way to pasir ris...nv saw tt face of his b4.

Lazy to link ppl up rite nw..coz i quite tired as i oni slpt 2 hrs todae. So i will link ur up nxt time round, ppl lyk Nat,Regina. Nights !!! everybdy...i gg to tekdo liao.

2006-12-14T20:02:00.000+08:00

You Are Kisuke Urahara

About: Kisuke Urahara is the owner of the Urahara Shop - a store that sells items from Soul Society. Urahara always wears traditional Japanese wooden sandals, a green and white stripped hat and a dark green-brown coat . He is a laid-back and intelligent man who often helps Ichigo and company defeat eneimies. While he never actually fights himself, Urahara helps formulate strategies and direct training that Ichigo and company undergo.

Urahara was the former captain of the 12th Shinigami Division and was the founder of the research institute in Soul Society. He has created a number of useful inventions, including the invention of being able to reach Bankai within three days.

Naruto Horoscopes: You are a Gemini!

You want to know everything but never dig quite deep enough, usually just skimming the surface. Gemini is a jack of all trades. Gemini is highly adaptable and likes change and variety. You are restless and very clever with the use of your hands. Gemini is versatile, fickle, intelligent, creative, quick, neat, and curious. Gemini learns quickly and has the ability to get a good education. You can also be selfish, nervous, inconsistent, deceptive, changeable, and confused. You have a weak will-power, and you tend to scatter your forces.

In the Naruto universe you would be the deceptive Itachi Uchiha!

You Are Neji

About: Neji Hyuga is ranked the number one rookie of his Ninja Academy's graduating class. He is one of the strongest Genin ranked ninjas out there. At the Chuunin Selection Exam, his teammates are Rock Lee and Tenten; and team leader Gai. Neji is also Hinata's cousin. Neji has one of the most effective fighting styles, using the Byukugan technique combined with his Hyuga Tai-Jutsu style, he can be a very deadly opponent.

2006-12-08T03:58:00.000+08:00

I feel damn pissed in e morning todae. Heard wad ben say thy gg to haf for thy outing and even dreaming of it make me super pissed. What thy doin tis sun is wad i always pending for but nv came to past. When last time ppl nt veri 'on' one nw become so 'on'. people lyk rachel kek and other..-.-"

I am SUPER GOD DAMN PISSED abt it loh. to the extend tt to hack or even dislike people in the cell. But after some chat wif ben n jerry, i start to calm down abit le ah but i still veri unhappy abt it. People nw asking den u would go and when last tym i n aaron ask it no ppl respond. WTF!! Different people haf different treatment isit? Your only listen to the more christmatic or influential people isit? What am i to your? just a useless songs sender isit? only find me when ur need the songs and enjoy ur life isit?

I just cant stand it loh...pissed,Pissed and PISSED loh.

If nt for todae rehearsal being cancel, i would nt urgently go there. People change and they no longer the same. Distance getting apart and I am just a passer-by. Feeling veri pissed,angry and sad. In my nxt cell, i would feel tis again...no more string attractment, no more deep true friendship, no more so 'active' participation and no more entertainer,joker and any kind to it.

BECOZ I JUST A GOD DAMN IT SONGS SENDER AND I AM NTH MUCH TO YOUR !!!

2006-12-05T13:27:00.000+08:00

I gt tis revelation todae, The Holy Spirit somehw tell me 'why people lyk me find it hard to fellowship?' and 'why sometimes ppl pray so hard and still cant connect wif the Spirit?'

For the first question, many ppl would says thy are introvent so it hard for them to get along. And being 'introvent', most ppl would haf the excuse of being anti-social. Being introvent doesnt mean u can be anti-social. Being introvent is one thing while being anti-social is another. The two cannt be mix and MUST nt mix together. When the two mix, the person would found favour in the Lord. As we are fisher of men, we cant be being introvent and anti-social at the same time. Being introvent is nt wrong, it just mean tt u will take a longer time than those extrovent to connect wif other ppl. U need time to warm up before u start to communicate wif ppl..But the key to failure is being anti-social. Anti-social is a curse devil wanting to install in us to keep us away from the crowd and slowly away from God. Being anti-social mean tt u are self-centered, selfish and since u dun communicate wif others and hw will u communicate wif God. Being introvent is nt wrong my fren, being anti-social is wrong and we mus get rid of this in our life.

For the second question 'why sometimes ppl pray so hard and still cant connect wif the Spirit?'. As your know our body is the temple of Holy Spirit and it just a our own personal handphone. The Holy Spirit talk to us just lyk ppl calling or msg us. Handphone need reception to recive call and msg so did our body when we pray. our prayers is sending signal to let us recieve the 'call/sms' Holy spirit trying to send us. The 2 reason we cant get into the relem of the Holy Spirit is tt either ur 'battery gone flat' or ur 'reception is low'. If ur is mean by ur 'battery gone flat', u need to charge it up and by charging it up mean tt u MUST go for the prayer meeting. It is nt by going prayer meeting surely mean tt ur battery will be charge up, it take the extra effort to get it touch wif the Spirit and the heart to pray tt will take the effect. It is useless going for prayer meeting and hoping u will get in the wif the Holy Spirit by doin nth or jus be a follower and doin wad others is doin. The extra effort and the heart is needed to go into the Holy of Holy. If u go for prayer meeting wif the extra effort and heart and u still get feel anytink, it mean tt ur 'reception is low'. By meaning 'reception is low', it mean u are either still in ur comfort zone or u nv communicate or reply/obey wad the Holy Spirit wan u to do. Just let what happen to ur hp when mrt going underground. U cant realli speak/call/sms when mrt gg pass the underground. The underground mean 'ur comfort zone' so u need take a step of faith to connect to the Holy Spirit. U need to walk up and walk out of the station to haf better reception and recieve the call. Just staying underground tip-toe and raise ur hand wif the hp does nt haf any effect to haf better reception. And when u do gt the msg, do reply it which mean obey to it. U noe hw it feel when ppl didnt reply ur msg so it is the same if we didnt obey to what Holy Spirit wan us to.

This is wad i wan to share wif ur. thx u.

2006-12-05T02:19:00.000+08:00

Abt one week or so after multiplication, i still kinda trying to adapt to the new cell. Kinda more reserved nw coz i scare say wrong words or offend anyone in the cell. I miss w355 alot...especially ben, zg and conssie. Feel quite werid without them ard plus Aaron haf been missing for so long le. Stephen is a gd leader but i still miss the time wif Wenshan.

December kinda packed, lots of project and common test. yet i haven touch most of it and jus dun haf the mood to do so. Finally join my fav. drama ministry but seem kinda bored coz i kinda new and dun haf any friends there. Suddenly feel quite dry inside and no matter wad i do seem useless.

Btw last sat at vivocity was a sad case, just look at wad ppl write abt me u noe liao. All put until i so sad lyk tt...haiz !!! thy lyk to 'wah,wah,wah' tt time actually i feel lyk sing 'wild,wild,west' loh. It only so many gals there dun wanna make matter big. Kinda numb to it as i grown up in the west and most of my frenz are 'beng' type so habit liao.

2006-11-26T18:24:00.000+08:00

Cellgroup fianlly mulitply le...and i nt in w355 anymore le. Seem i the one cry the most ytd ba..coz think abt alot of tinks, Wenshan, Ben thy all shld noe. Think abt lyk even outreach and those will nt be together le...lesser time to spend wif each other just make me feel damn sad.

My eyes kinda swollen tis morning, but i cant help but still cry when writing tis post. Mayb need time to adapt ba..I sound useless coz i cannt do anytink but cry. I will always remember tis part of my life bah.

W355,My love,my life

2006-11-13T02:49:00.000+08:00

This mayb the last entry i will be writing as a w355 member ba...Ya cellgroup is multiplying nxt sat which mean some will go, some will stay. It my first multiplication so if i says i will nt be sad is fake de lah. We went through so much together and finally become so united and oso win so much things as a cell. For all of it, it going to different after nxt week. We will all start a new chapter in the new cell we will be in ba..

2 more weeks before being an 1 yr old christian, I from somebody very quiet to somebody somewhat abit irritating ba...Gain and learn alot from people in W355. Although I nt like Aaron who appearance and sweet-talker style attract alot of CGLs' attention or Someone like Poh Meng who commitment or leadership That have Sis Faith's interest as someone having potential ba. I just an ordinary member of W355.

Almost most the people know why i come church at first de ba...but that not only the reason ba, at that time i realli dunno abt christianity and curious abt it and that why i wanted to come. In the end still, the reason i come to church...Gina.-.-' haha. What is past is past le ba..the Tian Long nw is veri different from the past although still many of the upper lvl still nt known me.

I just wanted to thank people in W355 here...coz mayb I dun haf the chance again le ba. I know is long but spare me some time, thank you.

W355 as a whole, Thank You. From you, i gt alot of true friend and make my friday and sat more meaniful as we worship the LORD together and fellowship together. Life without you with be boring during weekend and so. Everyweek wad i wishing for is that friday and sat would come faster. You are my first cell so i will remember u forever.

Wenshan, My first CGL. Caring and understanding...i veri happy that you are my CGL. I know i never do much as a member other than sharing the sweets, water and tissue paper that i have. I know sometime i never find you when i in trouble like some other members did....but you still encourage me alot when i think of things i cannt make it example when the winning eleven xbox challenage. You are my first CGL and my best CGL. Thank you for what you impacted in my life. =D

Susan, One of the 2 Da Jie Da in W355. You are the one tt help me get used with W355 and members of other cells. The one always talkative and seem irritating when pms but still a wonderful sister to me ba. Thank you for help me to adapt to the life of being a christian. I will remember tt you like card during your b'dae but i only know hw to make flower ah. =D

Gina, another Da Jie Da in W355. The One brought me to church, the on last time i haf interest in. Dunno her much at first but start to communicate more nw le ba...know her many yrs but still dun seem to know her. but still Thank you for bringing me to church...if i dun like you last time i oso wouldnt think that i nw will be in church. =D

Aaron, my best friend since i join church. I know at first is Gina 'push' you to talk to me de but somehw we 'click' and became as one who live up the cell with jokes and many things. Together with Ben and Zhen Guo we can create lots of stupid things and i will remember it. Thank you for being my friend. Dun backslide after going army hor...i will miss you de. =D

Benjamin, One of the gang of 5. This last few months realli quite happy coz we always have laugeter together and although my eng nt tt gd and your chinese nt tt gd, we seem to communicate well. Thank you for being my friend...hope we can still have time to play games together. =D

Zhen Guo, One of the gang of 5. You come to church abt the same time as me, didnt know you much until this few mths. We all become sicker becoz of your sick joke..haha. Thank you for being my friend...i will remember your lagueter. =D

Constance, One of the gang of 5. The one always like to take photo de...and the one hyper mode start at 10pm. The one tt always sa jiao and wanted to buy this and that but not $$. Thank you for being my friend....I will remember you becoz of your brother tt beat me up at the bbq. -.-". =D

Anna, the princess of the cell. Also like to sa jiao and compliant abt tis and that. A veri direct person ba...Thank you for being my friend. Must smile more if nt your face will be veri 'black', and nt everytink wad u want u can have it de lah. =D

Pei Shan or Chloe, Also veri princess-like. Dun like outdoor activities much, veri quiet and veri innocent. Sometime messed up your hse ah...veri sorry. Thank you for being my friend...must protect yourself ah cannt always being so easily bullied. =D

Rachel, a person who know what she wants. One of the people talk to me when i first come and nw making her feel veri cold coz my 'cold joke'. Thank you for being my friend...Dun get so stress out mus know hw to relax. =D

Ryan, the cheif of our cell. The only one i can share soccer at a mature lvl in the cell. although dun see him much bcoz of o lvl but still have i dun felt any distance between us when we talk. Thank you for being my friend...saying the truth, i dun like st. andrew until i meet you. =D

Poh Meng, the one growing up in christ veri fast ba. A person full of responsibilities and reasoning. You seem to have all the facts of the world at your finger tip. Thank you for being my friend...Dun talk too much abt facts or people will get bored..haha. =D

Jerry, the 'wind' in W355. Always come and go like a 'wind'...didnt have the chance to know him well enough. But i know he guitar skill is quite gd. Thank you being my friend...dunno you treat me as one too? =D

Michelle, due to her parents restriction...i also dunno her much and onli saw her on sat. A veri cute and sweet sister from wad you can tell by her appearance. Thank you for being my friend...dunno wad to write here sia but stay happy as always bah. =D

Samuel, the youngest and the most quiet one. Also dunno you well coz you so quiet and dun like to share much. Anyways, hope you can get to ACSI. Thank you for being my friend...dun be so quiet lah talk more k? =D

Qi xuan, my junior frm sec school. I dunno her much until Aaron brought her to church. A gal that sometime went hyper and lauge lyk crazy. Thank you for being my friend...control your emotion abit can? if nt ppl oso dunno wad happen to you ah. =D

Darius, I gt alot to tell you but still dunno hw to put it. Dunno that you will see this but i shall put it here bah...I understand your situation but i dunno hw to help you. I know wad you feeling is but i dunno hw to describe to you. We are abt similar in someways bah...I know the reason why you dun like Aaron and sometimes I felt the same too. I know your reasons so wad i want to says is 'relax,bro.' Thank you for being my friend...dun always compare yourself with other, learn to like yourself first and others will mayb start to like you ba. =D

Thank again to all of you being part of my life. Your lets a plain paper like me to be colourful and i dun regret having this relationship we have together. Although sometime we quarrel, or having trouble that we dun like to share but we still end up knowing things here and there. Enjoy the time we have during outings and having zone competation...especially the sentosa out-reach as we 'die-die' oso mus W355 come on top no matter wad. I dun think i would admin this blog if i nt in W355 anymore...and mayb someonesle would write ba.

I would miss the time in W355 and all of your.
Thank you.

The tiny mini,
Chua Tian Long

*repost from the entry in W355 blog

2006-10-30T03:09:00.000+08:00

I watched finish 'Goong: Wo de ye man wang fei/ Princess hours'. Quite a nice show and it worth the money to get it. It so popular now in Singapore too. A very beautiful and touching love story...nice storyline and very cute actress who i also think quite chio( especially when she let down her long hair)...Lol

Watch soccer shld be a joy to me but watch it at nite feel so lonely...Night make most ppl feel lonely which i nw truely understand why. For my case, I think mayb there is nobody to share the joy together bah..

I getting to understand why i never have anytink go right in my life/ success in anytink. The root to it, Mayb Im too impatient in anytink i do and jump straight into the process. Mayb it is bah, coz everytink that i do...i just dun like the basic and went straight into the 'expert mode' evertink even for soccer.
Need to improve on this weakness of my.

Btw...Im writing this post for a few times le but due to com error i had to rewrite again. -.-" Cause i dun wanna wait till nxt morning den write as i will forgot and being lazy to write at tt time.
below is the lyric of one of my most fav songs in Goong but i just cant the songs...it is one of the most sad and emo songs too...

Saranghamnida nan nan sranghamnida.
( Love you...I...I love you.)
Geudaeye bae oon manhgo manheun manldeul joonge.
( This is what I learned from you, Out of all words and phrases in the world.)
Eemalhana ibboureut chouroum na.
( This has become my favorite phrase.)
Joongoulgourimnida honja babo chouroum.
( Muttering to myself...Like a fool alone.)

Mianhamnida cham, cham mianhamnida.
( I'm sorry...I am sorry.)
Dwi neujeun ee malkkaji mianhajiman.
( I'm sorry for these words that are too late.)
Youmchi oubsi geudael gidarimnida.
( I wait for you without any pride.)
Haengyou naejreun doraolgga.
( Will you return tomorrow by chance?)

ee maum..kkeutnae geudaen molla.
( This heart...even if it's ended, we won't know.)
Olsu oubsoudo.
( Even if you can't come..)
Geudaega byounhae douneun.
( Even if you've changed..)
Nan anirado.
( Even if it's not me..)
Boollou bogo...dasi boollou bomnida.
( I call out...call out again.)
Aengmoosae chouroum geudae eereum.
( Like a parrot, I call out your name...)
Guedae sarangman irouhge.
(And your love, like this.)

2006-10-25T12:16:00.000+08:00

I think i finally enlighted le bah...Those disappointment, tireness, sadness. After days of suffer troubled times, feeling down...even given the thought of giving up the way wif HIM, He ask me to 'hang on' which at first i tot is wad i thinking to myself nia. But He told me again to 'hang on' even in my dream...and flash bek all the times i had in church and all the sermon i learn. It let me know why wad i always ask nv come true.

The element i lack to haf wad i wan, wad i desire most. It to be mentally healthy bah...knowing my own situation right nw, having it would be more painful bah. I dun wanna anybody get hurt or the person get hurt by stupid thing althougt sometimes quarrel is unpreventable. I dun wanna lyk any of my fren jus lyk tt does it lyk a ply ply mood and hurt anybody bcoz of his own personal attiude problems. i dun wanna use force and in the end everybody oso get hurt. i just wanna use my own strgenth to haf it, enjoy and precious it and most imptly let everything go by faith bah.

I think in w355, i am the weakest link bah. It is nt bcoz i am new or wad bah...but i jus veri easily shaken by my emotions bah. Trying to hard to get something which nt belong to me end up hurting myself. I am the one who always feel inferior abt myself, the one who moodswing among guys is 2nd the worst, the one who quite useless, the one who nt so spiritual YET.

The guy out there who nv think abt ownself and jus pointing other ppl faults. The guy who dun enjoy big crowd example combined cell. The guy who dun lyk to write b'dae card coz he dunno wad to write. The guy who everytym sae ' sian,Sian and SIAN'. lastly, one of the most boring guys u can find on earth.

So much to change, so little time.
Having faith in HIM.

2006-10-22T00:27:00.000+08:00

Think alot these days...doing some reflection abt myself and others think. The Most important thing i being thinking is friends.

What are friends for? What they mean to u?

Friends is an important part in our life as we have lots of friends(for some of us). We spend all the happy and sad times together...But it is realli a case as wad we all say? If yes, why most of the time we cant find someone to tok to when we are troubled. The feeling to share burden but no one there and when it can be shared, you dun feel lyk it lei and putting it all inside you. Happy moment spend together is gd enough and troubled time/ sad moment deal it alone? Is it realli lyk tt, if not why usually it gone tt way...

Are friends means to being used? Ask him/her keep u company when u lonely...and put him aside when u gt plan to do. Ask frm him a favour to send you songs when u want one and hardly tok to you if nt a case. Being friend wif him/her just for the fun coz he/she is easily bullied.

Is there realli sometink called true friend?

Why life is so sad?
Why we need to gone througt so much, suffer so much?
Why Good thing nv happened for gd people?
Tired of this, realli veri tired le

How i wish life is simple and easy. Just lie down a field and enjoy the sky, the scenary, the tree, the grass and... Just some veri simple request yet so hard to accomplish.

2006-10-20T23:52:00.000+08:00

Suddenly have the urge to learn guitar or paino...Having a huge interest in composing song nwadae. I find composing songs quite interesting lei and most of all, it is your own creation going by your own style and genre. Think i can 'heng'(try?sing?agaration of the tune and meldoy) out abit...which some i tink it quite nice but most importantly is i cannt remamber any of it. LOL!!!

After saying so much, i still have doubt over myself ah...and i veri shy lei. Due to this shyness of my, it prevent the Great Chua Tian Long to accomplish many great things ah. As i can say that i not a veri confident person and i am one that veri concern abt ppl opinion and critcism.

Doing a personality test ben ask me to do...the most surprising thing is nt that it say i am extrovant but is having a special talent for bringing out the best in others and the ability to make people do exactly what they want them to do -.-"

I know that nt veri things it stated is true or can be believe but it is nt the first time i kana this type of result...no matter wad personality i do, i would surely gt this ability to bring the best out of people. Which i dunno why? i dun even seem tt i have convincion in my speaking and hw do the hell i bring out the best in people?

Have a chat wif one of my army fren todae. suddenly tok abt maturity...which i dun think i gt enough bah. coz i think i still nt ba...dunno hw to describe but roughly can gauge ba.

2006-10-19T22:39:00.000+08:00

Remove the music on my blog...seem kind of irritating. School start this week, but due to it the first week...it seem kind of slack and end often end early. -.-"

Kind of pissed when i read finish 1 of my 'fren' entry. 'What are friends for?', this is the title of his stupid entry which later part bad-wording his close frenz...and all of this due to thy nv spend time wif him. WTF? I know friendship is bulid with quality time spend but wad he say is abit over. Saying gd thing abt you when your on good term and bad-mouthing you when your nv meet or having querral. This is on the surface for most of them bah...some other being easliy bullied would suffer more coz he would 'pit-pointed' you and wadever you do is wrong. This is wad i being througt for abt 4 yrs bah.. -.-"

Wondering wad the probs wif him? Being so arrogant, 'mu zhong wu ren' and disrespectful...i realli wonder hw i make fren wif him. Consider himself as christian without gg svc and worse still bad-mouthing the church he saying he in...which is CHC lar !!! I think i will stop here, if nt i will be the one bad-mouthing ppl too..

I am thinking wad blog is useful this few days? i doubt so ppl will read finish any of the entry...coz part of it i noe is boring. Two ways to noe ppl visited your blog would be 1. hit-counter, which is no use to me coz it seem tt i am the one who increase the no. den others so i remove it, and 2. tagboard, but it seem too nobody entry into this 'holy' land of my coz it seem so empty too. Mayb the only thing tt blog is being useful to me is as a tool to vent my feeling bah..but still nt everytink can being shared or tt i dun wanna share.

TV time, update again when i feel like it bah coz it still so blank.

2006-10-14T00:49:00.000+08:00

life is boring without aims, dream and wadever u can think so...and tt wad i suffering right nw -.-

trying to find somthing to spend my time away but nth for me to do or i nt interested in...lappy nw seem so useless when i haf it but so impt to me when dun haf one. Any games on both com and playstation has no effect on me, i nv addicited to any games before coz it seem bored plying a long time...tt even included my fav. soccer game !!!

Msn seem stupid coz firstly is no ppl online or ppl tt i chat often is busy due to schoolwork and exams, secondly is i am a bad communicator ba...mayb due to my character which seem quite cold, the first word i come out with is ' SIAN !!! ' (dun u all agree?). And trying to add more sugar doesn't haf any effect coz is way too salty liao (sian sound similar to salty in chinese). So it seem Msn is useless to me too...

Blogging oso doesnt mean much use oso...although some time is spend away when blogging but wad can blog from such a boring life and nth significant to blog it down. I can't always blog 'sian, Sian, SIAN !!!' right? it feel so stupid to do that, even others will get bored by reading it.

Think it time to do some reflection, thinking of wad to do, wad went wrong, wad to improve, hw to improve and all those tiny little thing tt can make life more fruitful. Instead of sian here sian there and everybody oso feel sian by it...result in death due to drowning in the salty world.

Can a lazy man like man do it? Doubt so...but nothing is impossible and impossible is nothing. So I Must believe, I Still Believe and I Believe i can do it !!! In the end, you would nv know wad the outcome without trying mah...but anyway just dont push to hard can liao and just try my best =D

Wad shld i do first aft i sae so much? Ohya...A man without dreams cannt sucess rite? I know wad i shld do liao...went to slp so that i can haf dreams and so i would know wad is my Dreams. LOL...

Nite Nite...

2006-10-08T12:51:00.000+08:00

Dun Judge A Person On It Cover !!! coz u dunno hw is he on the inside...wad he tinking, feel, plan, and everytink.

People mayb happy in fornt of others but haf a differ feeling inside them...Or trying to do smtink tt other dunno. U mayb thinking of one of these guys nw bah...but u mayb dunno who i mention or tinking nw.

I wonder why ? Some people jus dun cherish people ard them when they haf one, or trying to get love everywhere but some quiet one jus sit there doing admiration. 'Bad' boys win the race while 'nice' guys is being cast aside, 'Bad' boys know hw to firth while 'nice' guys jus nt gd at words and being 'boring'. Isit being 'Bad' so good ?

Another example, you mayb get along wif a Person a long time but u mayb still dunno wad tis Person thinking bah or simple put you dun understand tis Person. coz mayb tis Person tink no one understand him/her bah...thus dun dare to open up tis Person's feeling. Mayb wad tis Person hiding may shock you bah.

This lead me thinking of wad usually gd frens will ask each others or mayb only my last time fren and i bah ( no longer together bcoz of sometink and a 3 letter word, CHC ) when we get into love topic.

Who will u spend the most time wif ? Girlfriend or Good friend ?
There is no balance here coz surely u will spend most of the time wif one of them de. Either one, i tink i will go solo bah...jus lyk the song playing nw '一个人流浪' coz i tink i dun haf both bah.

飞轮海 - 一个人流浪

没人了解
才选择隔绝这世界
有点疲倦
已决裂的信念

白色球鞋
走不回喧闹的海边
月光营火
照亮许多笑脸

疯狂画面停留在眼前
默契却渐行渐远
我们约好闯荡的那片天
我一个人向前

我流浪在拥挤的从前
复习一页页黑白的空荡夏天
呆坐在热闹的路边
啤酒没变甜
却少了傻得很认真的心愿

我流浪在孤单的边缘
怀念挥霍著笑声的耀眼蓝天
听著那熟悉的音乐
只剩下琴弦
希望让时间回到误解那天

能有机会说声抱歉

2006-10-01T13:33:00.000+08:00

I like this song sia...nice song, sad story. Like the lyrics veri much, quite meaningful (to me ah).

think i gt nth to blog le bah...nth to update coz nth seem special this few weeks.

爱失控 - Energy

时间
一分一秒被偷走
所谓的永久
被曾经取代后
变成恶魔
手里握着多余的温柔
独自反复思索
收藏保留
随风飞走
说来轻松

自由
是否会比较好过
原来没有
成全的背后总有
痛苦在招手
记忆停留在最初时候
星光已不再闪烁
无话可说
继续走
还是朋友

让你走
我的爱失控
藏在幸福快乐的背后
是我
逃避退缩
放开手
对爱不再有奢求
是非对错不想再多说
眼神交会时候
出卖承诺
泪在留

想通
躲在黑暗的出口
难以捉摸
是缘份的作用
导致失控
还是孤独一时的冲动
抹去爱情轮廓
故事内容
谁补充
安静的尘封

世界的旋律因你而转动
就算再失控
落空
音符交织感动
就够

让你走
我不再是我
感受不到心跳的触碰
占有
转眼成空
放开手
对爱不再有奢求
徘徊梦中模糊脸孔
遗留在角落
不再轻易地经过

2006-09-19T23:01:00.000+08:00

boring dae again...holidae seem useless to me. Listen to radio today, get to new song from fei lun hai so i decide to host it on my blog (dunno if u can heard anytink coz i cannt)...but it quite a nice song to me, it music or lyric is by Tank tt why is nice =D. i lyk the song/music but some part of the lyric too ah...

hope ur enjoy it...

夏雪 - 飞轮海

你给的爱带着温度
尤其拥抱时最清楚
心跳传来的起伏
像一颗跳动的暖炉

手放进口袋的温度
融化了走过的路途
冰天雪地的国度能
抱着你就很满足

谁都知道气候会变
更别说诺言
你的冬衣还留在我窗前

你的世界已经准时晴天
远方的我在夏天看雪
我的孤独慢慢冻结
在没有你的夜

给我的爱已经过了期限
而我的心在夏天下雪
明明寒冬已经很远
我还是无法结束

这冬眠我的世界乱了季节
赤道居然会飘着雪
热带雨林的原野
看起来白茫茫一片

回忆在我心中积雪连日出
也无法溶解
应该流汗的夏天
可是却一直流眼泪

没有你的夜

2006-09-17T00:52:00.000+08:00

Guess i quite big mouth recently...spilled alot of beans. But is accidently de, nt on purpose =p Think i mus change abit on this le...cannt continue lyk tt if nt ppl oso wouldnt keep my secret.

Ya...i mus change, i will spill the bean again so ppl will nt spill my oso..Aaron hor? haha...all is mi mi, cannt tell de..=D

Realli wonder wad my mum thinking...i stay at hm den sae i oni noe hw to sleep and play nia, if i go out den still gif me tt black face.*confused*
Sian sia...lyk tis oso wrong, lyk tt oso wrong -.- But mus REN !!!!

Damn bored ah...nwadae at hm but go to skl oso sian -.-" seem lyk nth is meaningful lei..
sian,Sian and SIAN !!!!

2006-09-16T00:39:00.000+08:00

Todae gt my result, quite bad to others but no bad to me. I gt one C+, 4 D, 1 F and 1 DB(debarred)...LOL

Most of ur would find it bad bah...even my GPA which is a total of 4 mark, i oni gt 1 while others gt 2 and above...but i nt sad at all ah coz wd the point of feel so sad when u noe u didnt do well and bringing down the atmosphere ard u cozing ur frens to sad wif u...-.-"

Exam result mean nothing to me bah...coz i think no matter u pass or fail, life still go on and jus do better nxt time can le loh. Lives everydays happy is better den everydays sad rite? plus u dunno wad will happen tml wad...so jus lives life to the fullest loh.

happy day !!!

2006-09-13T23:27:00.000+08:00

Surfing some of my frens' blog jus nw...hear this song in one of them so decide to upload it to my blog too.
Ya...tis song veri old liao lah. I noe !!! but i found it touching loh...plus i a frog in the well for english songs lar -.-"
Btw too...dun think too far hor...especially the likes of Aaron Lim. -.-" It doesn't contain any motive or meaning for putting tis song.
ARIGATO GOZAIMASHITA !!!

Seem many ppl having prelim nw...and i gt nth to do, think i go bek to my beloved playstation le bah...

How did i fall in love with u

Remember when, we never needed each other

The best of friends like

Sister and Brother

We understood, we'd never be,
Alone

Those days are gone, and I want so much

The night is long and I need your touch
Don't know what to say
I never meant to feel this way
Don't want to be
Alone tonight

What can I do, to make you mine
Falling so hard so fast this time
What did I say, what did you do?
How did I fall in love with you?

I hear your voice
And I start to tremble
Brings back the child that, I resemble

I cannot pretend, that we can still be friends
Don't want to be,
Alone tonight

What can I do, to make you mine
Falling so hard so fast this time
What did I say, what did you do?
How did I fall in love with you?

Oh I want to say this right
And it has to be tonight
Just need you to know, oh yeah

I don't want to live this life
I don't want to say goodbye
With you I wanna spend
The rest of my life

What can I do, to make you mine
Falling so hard so fast this time
What did I say, what did you do?
How did I fall in love with you?

What can I do, to make you mine
Falling so hard so fast this time
Everything's changed, we never knew

How did I fall,
in love ,
with you?

2006-09-13T09:47:00.000+08:00

Wad sia...keep KP and saying me playing playstation -.-" Damn dulan loh...if i nv play playstation i also on computer for the whole day wad...it the same rite?

Keep saying tis and tt...damn sian !!! Ur wan to say also say quietly la...tok so loud lyk i cannt listen lyk tt. Everytink oso my fault...-.-" Do this oso wrong nv do oso wrong...everytink i oso wrong.

Feel lyk gg out of tis hse asap sia...arghh !!!

this blogskin is only tempory nia...tahan it for awhile =p

2006-09-11T23:15:00.000+08:00

Guess i hard to find tis few dae...coz i plying my ps2 as no much ppl online and i gt nth to do wif my com. Sry Ben and Aaron coz my phone is on slient mode so i didnt notice it.

I think finally my relatinship wif js thy all is getting better bits by bits le bah...since tt soccer match, i gt ply one match of dota wif him and lewis todae gt come and chat wif me too...
think the real problem is wif Aron coz he dun lyk one ppl he so call influence ppl to go along wif hm de bah...hope for the better loh

2006-09-09T00:38:00.000+08:00

Had a long day todae, gt BBQ and those think...all nt interest me and feel like a wasting of time there...mayb bcoz too bored coz nth to do, i started to think alot.

Hmm...suddenly think and gt an urge to learn paino. sound abit funny hor...den still think of it lyk too late and lazy ah...den dun care loh. Suddenly oso feel smtink is missing when i try to sing emo/'love' song...lyk missing one element, cant put the feeling into the song tt type.
Aiya...hack ah. i nt a professional anyway, be so perfect for wad...oso nth use.

And suddenly feel lyk toking but nobody to tok to...so write blog loh but lyk many ppl will noe den dun feel lyk liao. Haizz..

退后 - 周杰伦

天空灰的像哭过
离开你以后
并没有更自由

酸酸的空气
守住我们的距离
一幕醉心的结局
像呼吸般无法停

息抽屉泛黄的日记
找到了回忆
那笑容是傻气

你我的过去
被深深真的忘记
缺氧过后的爱情
存心的眼泪是多余

我知道你我都没有错
只是忘了怎么退后
信誓旦旦给的承诺
全被时间扑了空

我知道我们都没有错
只是放手比较好过
最美的爱情回忆里带去

2006-09-06T23:33:00.000+08:00

Todae damn no mood...lose the soccer match to some idoits and gt my boots broken into pieces. Spolit my mood for soccer totally...somemore go to boon keng which so far away. -.-" But at least i gt some anger vent out by sliding ppl frm the back...which i usually try to do when i angry..lolx !!!

I oso surprise todae match js oso gt go..coz we nv meet and tok since our fight last time. In e end, quite happy ah..coz gt tok abit but mayb long tym nv tok to each other areadi bah...so abit paiseh den nv tok much jus a few sentance nia.

I nw oso so proud of myself ah...win a querral wif a english pro. Haha !!! i tok so much crap until he gt nth to say ah...the feeling damn shuai ah.

2006-09-01T22:20:00.000+08:00

Todae went to ply soccer for the first time since dunno hw many mths liao. Discover my fitness lvl realli go down by alot loh...i ply abt 5 mins den veri tired le ask suresh to ply for me. Since i cannt run so many times up and down, i just stay down most of the time loh and defend loh. To my surprise, i actually defend quite well coz usually my defend SUX !!!

After went to cg, didnt pay much attendtion coz Aaron seem veri dulan abt the kbox tinky. We still went Kbox and we say as usual..luckliy is nt much ppl coz we areadi dont haf time to finish all our songs. I dun feel the satifation aft tt oso...nt enough time bah i tink but inside there damn cold loh.

2006-08-30T12:21:00.000+08:00

I gt the lyric for 千里之外 liao...put it on myblog but seem quite small so i gg to put it here.
Coz firstly i can learn myself and...
Secondly, your can see without spoliting ur eyes..=D

千里之外 - 周杰伦/费玉清

(周)屋檐如悬崖风铃如沧海我等燕归来
时间被安排演一场意外你悄然走开
故事在城外浓雾散不开看不清对白
你听不出来风声不存在是我在感慨

(周)梦醒来是谁在窗台把结局打开
那薄如蝉翼的未来经不起谁来拆

(费)我送你离开千里之外你无声黑白
沉默年代或许不该太遥远的相爱
我送你离开天涯之外你是否还在
琴声何来生死难猜用一生去等待

(Rap)闻泪声入林寻梨花白只得一行青苔天
在山之外雨落花台我两鬓斑白
闻泪声入林寻梨花白只得一行青苔天
在山之外雨落花台我等你来

(费)一身琉璃白透明着尘埃你无瑕的爱
你从雨中来诗化了悲哀我淋湿现在
(周)芙蓉水面采船行影犹在你却不回来
被岁月覆盖你说的花开过去成空白

(费)梦醒来是谁在窗台把结局打开
(周)那薄如蝉翼的未来经不起谁来拆

(费)我送你离开千里之外你无声黑白
沉默年代或许不该太遥远的相爱
(周)我送你离开天涯之外你是否还在
琴声何来生死难猜用一生...

(费)我送你离开千里之外你无声黑白
沉默年代或许不该太遥远的相爱
(周)我送你离开天涯之外你是否还在
琴声何来
(合)生死难猜用一生去等待

2006-08-30T00:31:00.000+08:00

Todae accompany Aaron go his IPPT...reach Pasir Ris abt 8am still muz a taxi to the camp inside. But to my horror, as i expected for the worst...i could not enter into the camp. Wad de...still muz wait for Aaron to finish all his tinks which abt 4 hrs. Somemore i am in a wulu place...so in the end i decide to use my memories and haf a walk adventure to waste my time. The whole journey took abt 1hr for me to walk to the MRT station loh...i noe it abit stupid but i oso proud of this walk...so log nv walk tis long liao.

Here where i start,

Den it continue...

And continue...
There still somemore...
And somemore....
And more....
Finally i can see the Mrt trail...
After the long journey of walking...I took a walk at White Sand Mall which i discover there is nth much there...i scare to spend my time there bcoz of the renovation and temp stair they provide...coz i scare height walking up areadi gt abit of prob liao still muz tink is tis stair reliable.

Since nth much at White Sand...so i went to Tampines Mall and catach a movie. I watch 'The Break-up'...Quite ok larthe movie, keep saying abt the relationship abt couple. Especially the part Men play, Men usually woo a woman using all sort of method but once they gt her, they dun cherish the relationship or thinking tt work is the method tt can bring happiness to the woman thy like so thy do nt need to work. End up relationship between two worsen, and when the guy realise it...it is too late and there is no return to the relationship thy haf before. The moral of the story is to cherish everytink u haf before it end up the other way round...or mayb Men usually take things for granted?

Oh ya...first time see movie alone loh, somemore there is no much ppl in the threate. But watch tis movie alone lyk werid werid de...or mayb i nt use watching movie alone.

I updated jay's lastest wif Fei Yu Qing...it is call 千里之外. Nice song, quite classic and sad story...dunno ur lyk it ornt but i tink it suit my taste of music. Hope your enjoy it !!!

2006-08-28T07:15:00.000+08:00

I nv slp well last nite coz suddenly I feel...
the fear of darkness...
the fear of lonliness...
the fear of rejection...
the fear of height...
the fear of this and that...

I am a nobody....
I haf no stregth to do this and no courage to say that...

Cowardly me?

2006-08-28T00:47:00.000+08:00

Todae when to svc...wake abt 7.45am coz cons call me ( if nt i tink i 12+ den wake up liao...damn tired). Svc was great...first time pas. Kong preach abt sex so openly and the session was so funny too..lauging througtout the session.

After svc, of coz i went hm ah...partly bcoz Ben thy all nt there. Quite a lucky day todae bah...ytd Joel (my sec skl clzmate) jus tok to me online...todae he saw me on the train. We chat all the way bek to je loh...toking abt hw no life is in poly, hw we doin tis dae and telling peishan hw our sec skl life is lyk when 'N'. Suddenly tink of it, counted myself lucky or is Darius's fortune nt to meet tio coz after tt we or he sure gt smtink nasty to say abt Darius de...Anyway realli had a great time wif him coz we all nv meet for so so long liao.

I had smtink funny after i depart wif Joel and peishan at je. When i took the middle platform train...one person who jus tranfer after alight the train gg toward Pasir Ris ask me," U jus come bek frm svc ah?"
I lyk tinking, " Who are you sia? i gt no impression at all lei..." but since asking me issit jus come bek frm expo...sure is our church member loh so i reply " Ah..."
He then ltr ask me abt the svc and borrow him the sermon outline to see see...I jus reply loh but ans in one sentance one sentance de...coz i still tinking and dun haf impression of him leh ( does nt seem lyk in our zone de oso..)

He den ask, " U serving todae issit? "
My first reaction in my heart is...HUH, coz i dun haf any ministry yet wad as your know...
He den says, " U frm Usher Ministry rite? "
It gif me a big question mark again, not the first time i been mislead as a Usher liao loh. I remember one of the session when we gt Emerge tt time oso...I realli gt tt USHER face meh -.-"

Lucky in the end arrival Bukit Batok liao...so i didnt ans tt part of his question loh..